RIP Kawika

So today I found out that my childhood friend died in a motorcycle accident this morning. I've been crying on and off since then.  I mean I've known the kid since I was 10 and it just sucks to know I'll never run into him again when I go home.

I first met Kawika (the w is pronounced like a v) when his family moved next door to us shortly after we moved in.  He had an older sister Jaime who was nice but too old to want to hang out with my sisters or I. It was so great to have another kid on the block, and we all used to run around together after school along with Jacob and (sometimes) Kayce Kirkengard (prob spelled that wrong).

Kawika had a special connection to Shannon who, at five, decided that he was her first crush.  He would give her his extra Pokemon cards and they were constantly getting into trouble for bike riding through the unfinished construction of the other houses on the block. She used to follow him around everywhere and he was never annoyed by it, he was just a nice guy.

George once bit him. Kawika and I had been joking around while walking George and he hit me to which George turned around and jumped up and bit him in the leg. Kawika the next day had this huge bruise on his thigh and threatened to tell his dad about it (Dave wasn't really somebody you wanted to have mad at you) and I told him if he did I would tell his dad he hit me and then he would be in trouble for starting it. Needless to say neither of us told our parents about the incident.

Our families, living right next to each other, were somewhat close. We constantly had barbecues together and hung out. We spent NYE 2000 there, all of us children wondering what would happen at the strike of midnight on Y2K, sorely disappointed when life went on as usual.

Eventually Dave and Lana (Kawika's parents) decided to move and for a couple years we didn't hear from them, then one 4th of July they showed up to the block party and walked into our house like no time at all had passed.  We had so much fun joking around with Kawika that night, it hadn't mattered that years had gone by, it was really as if we had seen him the day before. We talked about hanging out and exchanged cell numbers and talked for a while after that. Always somehow being busy when the other was free to hang out or send a party invite. Eventually I was out of Las Vegas again and lost touch.

Over the summer his family moved back into their old house. We were neighbors once again. I was excited to be able to go home for a visit some time and catch up but never got the opportunity. Shannon was home just last week and saw him. She says he's still cute and still has a crush on him.

The world truly lost an amazing person today. I may not have seen him for a while but he and his family have always been dear in my heart. It hurts so bad knowing that I'll never reconnect with him, knowing that he's with God instead of everyone who loved him. Death really sucks and I can't imagine how his family is feeling right now. My mom was with them right after they got the news and she said it was the worst pain she has ever seen. Out of respect to them I wont repeat what she saw but they are torn apart. I think anyone who knows him is.

My mom and sisters and I have been sharing stories about him and we have so many. I just wish I was with them now because it sucks being so far from home when a tragedy like this happens. 

Kawika I hope that you are happy wherever you are now. You will be missed.

Love and Kisses,
KABO

Will I ever graduate?!

So the class schedule FINALLY came out today and guess what, I'm so fucked! There are three classes I absolutely need and one of them is only being offered to the honors college students and the other two are at the same time. I emailed my advisor to see if there was anything she could help me with but she told me that it was out of her hands and to talk to the Dean's office so I emailed the college of Liberal Arts office and hopefully they can get back to me tomorrow and help me out with this.  What really sucks is that one of the classes is required for English majors but for some asinine reason they only have offered it every other semester.  If there is a class that you absolutely have to take it should be offered EVERY semester to ensure that everyone has the ability to take it ya know! There are a few ways that I can see this fixed-1)They can allow me to take a 100 level Classics class and just count it as having finihed my minor. 2)They can promise me to offer Shakespeare in the summer and then I can just take it then 3)They can allow me to take the Shakespeare in film class or whatever it is and count it for my 385 credit.  Any of those options would be fine with me.  If they are not okay with any of them then I am basically completely and utterly screwed! I'm seriously so over this shit, I just want to be DONE with college! I mean once I leave I'll have like three or four classes over what I need because I took classes that don't count towards my major and minor and therefore don't need them.

I'm so happy though that the semester is over half-way done.  There are six weeks left and they couldn't come soon enough.  As fast as this semester has gone so far I think they will probably fly by as well.  Especially with all the stuff that I have due in the coming weeks.  Two tests this week, a paper due sometime soon, another crazy hard test in Etruscan art, a book a week for Eng 418, and work on top of that.  Luckily this week I'll be working four shifts- three waiting and one hostessing so hopefully I'll make some good money cus I really need it.  I just filled up my tank and put three bills in the mail, leaving my bank account basically empty.  I still need to pay my cable and internet bill which is 140 so I need to make good money in order to do that and still have something to get food with.  Agh I hate being a broke college kid! I'm ready to be a broke adult lol.

If one thing good happened to me today it was my sisters. Man do I love those girls so much. Just as I was about to breakdown over the class situation I found a note from Pookie that she hid for me when she visited over in july. 

And then Heather called me and let me bitch to her for twenty minutes! I just really needed some sisterly love and it was great to have it from them both!

Now time to delve into my homework and maybe work on trying to find an internship and yeah.

Love and Kisses,
KABO

I'm Colonel Reb's girl forever!

Today was a sad day at Ole Miss as the dumb ass mascot committe announced our new on-field mascot of the black bear! It is beyond dumb! This abomination looks like a freaking giant teddy bear...way to go Ole Miss...that will really rial up the fans haha. I haven't heart ONE person saying they liked the idea and therefore I think the mascot committee was on crack when they said students were happy about it!  Colonel Reb is forever my man, no other mascot will replace him in my heart that's for sure.  I refuse to support this retarded selection and am going to try and pretend that it doesn't exist! Ironically, when I got ready for school today I didn't know that Ole Miss had made this autrocious announcement and went to school wearing my shirt that says, "My heart belongs to the Colonel" haha what a perfect day to show my support! Hotty Toddy the bear suck and Col Reb is the shit! I also find it somewhat ironic that we had to get rid of Col Reb because black people said he was racists and now our mascot is a black animal...not that the two really have anything to do with each other but it still seems kind of funny to me.  Almost makes me want to start a fuss over them picking a black animal and representing symbolically the black student's power over the whites on campus.  I mean if they can say dumb ass shit about the Colonel than why can't I say dumb ass shit about this dumb ass mascot! I mean what self-respecting Ole Miss student or alumni is really going to cheer on a fucking bear! Ugh it gets me so mad! We were fine without an official mascot so just let us keep it that way! Talking about race things though, I still have to go back and meet with Dr Cole, I've just been too busy lately.  Hopefully next week because I still want to give him a piece of my mind about shit on campus. 

Well on a happier note I just finished my last midterm! Yay! Not that I'm going to be less stressed out but at least I don't have to worry about major tests again until December.  I'm basically positive that I wont get my 4.0 cus the midterm in CLC 317 sucked balls and there is no way in hell I got an A on it.  I'll probably be lucky to get a B in that freaking class, ugh. Another good thing is that I get to hostess on Friday night! I am somewhat torn on what to wear but I think I'm going with a dress I bought for my Conformation a million years ago.  It's classy but short so that makes it kind of sexy.  Then if I add some nice brown heels I'll look smoking (I hope at least). 

Well I think that's really all for now!

Love and Kisses,
KABO

Hell yeah, Damn Right!

I'm in a super good mood right now and i'm not quite sure why but whatever I'm not going to complain about it. It may just be because this week I actually was able to semi-relax, it was probably the easiest week of schook that I've had and probably will have all semester. There was no test in mythology (and I found out I got a 114 on the last one), one of my Eng 418 classes was cancelled, the midterm for CLC 318 was moved to next Tuesday, and we watched a movie in my Eng 352 class.  Had I known it was going to be so great I would have picked up a Wednesday shift but I didn't find out about everything till after the schedule was made.  Next week though I have two midterms so it will be crazy again. I probably should have used my extra time to do some of my homework in advance but I just needed a break.  I was way too stressed out and it was nice to have a week without constant breakdowns. 

So today and in the last few days I've really been looking into my future and I feel so good about things to come.  There are some really awesome apartments out there and with Heather and I living together it means we can afford something nicer than if just I get a place.  Like according to what I looked up my salary to start out with will probably be in the 43k range, which isn't so much fun but whatever I'm only gunna do that till I can publish my own book! But with that I think that I can probably afford spending up to 2.5k a month on rent, if Heather can do the same than we can get an apartment for 5k a month, that should be easy I would think! Obviously I don't want to spend that much, I'd rather get something for around 3-3.5 but at least I know it's plausible to do better. Also the more I research into the publishing world the more I think it's a good place for me.  There's room for advancement and it just seems like hard but fun work.  I really hope that my uncle can help me get a job somewhere. If anything maybe he'll have leads to good jobs for me, we'll see.  I just really hope that not having an internship wont hurt me! I don't think it will though because I think I have a really good academic and personal background that would make me the sort of person a company would look for.

Well I have to work a double tomorrow so I really should get to bed but life is treating me well right now so I can't complain. Hopefully I make lots of money tomorrow at work!

Love and Kisses,
KABO

Oh me, Oh my

Well I took about a two hour nap last night while doing my paper so needless to say I'm super tired! I am not very happy with the outcome, I wish I had had more time to do it, like had it been due Wednesday I would have been able to turn in something that was quality.  I've bascially come to the conclusion that I wont get my 4.0, so my goal is to get whatever I get in my Eng 352 and Clc 318 classes but get As in my other three. As far as my online classes go, well I want to kick ass on them but I'm not even going to stress anymore, whatever happens happens. I feel so drained right now. It's more than a lack of sleep, it's that I just finished a book over 1000 pages all about murder and it's depressing! I want to like curl up in a big blanked in front of a fireplace watching a sweet movie right now but that isn't gunna happen :-( I really should re-edit my outline that's due tomorrow but I seriously don't care anymore, I'd rather just relax, I need a freaking break!

I really miss my home right now, and I think most of that is because my mom is on the brink of putting it up for sale, I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to go back there. So many memories in that house, some great, some horrible.  Like the houses in the horror stories we're reading in class, that house has become a character in my life, it is hard to let it go. It's also the end of my time there, the final cutting of the ties to my childhood. Once the house is gone I will never have my "home" to go back to, any place my family lives I will just be a visitor. Growing up is a scary thought but at the same time I can't wait to be a "real" adult, can't wait to have a salaried job, can't wait to start some real roots for myself. I've shed all the ties around the country, I'm free to roam where I please once I graduate, it's going to be amazing. I hope that this week and the eight weeks that follow it fly by (but at a pace I can keep up with) because that will mean I'll be one semester closer to tasting the responsibilities of life after college. I really hope that I get the chance to go to Venice this winter, it would be an amazing opportunity and I need the credits so it would be the most amazing way to get them. I hope that my class load next semester is a lot less challenging than this one, though I doubt it will be. I hope that I can keep my focus, that I don't fall into a state that is so overwhelmed that I give up. I hope that I can secure an amazing job. I hope so many things. All I can do though is take it one day at a time.

Tomorrow it's off to get my car fixed, I hope I don't forget about my appointment!

Love and Kisses,
KABO

Halfway there!

So once again I have a million things to do and not enough time to do them.  I have severly missed out on writing on here but what can I say, I'm just too busy to take the time out of my day.  School has been stressing me out to a point where I have a breakdown basically like every night.  I can't believe though that tomorrow starts the 7th week of classes, which means there is only 7 more after it's over (8 if you include the week we get off for Thanksgiving).  I have midterms this week and next week and then I'll need to schedule my biology final so that I have one less class to worry about.  My geology teacher told me that when I take the midterm I need to be prepared for it to be especially hard and something that I will need to study for extensively.  I don't have to worry about that for a few weeks though because I have too many assignments left to do it any time soon. Work was better this weekend, I think taking the weekdays off really helped to relieve a lot of the pressure I felt going there, plus I studied the menu a bit more so that I don't have to ask the kitchen questions.  This week I have to bring my car in because my breaks are just awful, they have been squeaking for months and now it looks like it's gunna cost a million dollars to get that fixed, ugh, just what I don't need right now! Side note-I'm in my room and my puppy keeps checking himself out in the mirror-SO funny! Well, so outside of school and work and my car being an asshole, I really have had no life.  I think after this semester is over I'm going ot have to break my no drinking rule and go out for a crazy night on the town, one I will for sure regret the next day lol. My mom may be coming to see me in like a week and a half and I really hope she can make it out here because I freaking miss her and it would just be nice to have her here for a minute. Ok well I really must go, but I am going to try and get better about writing on here. Maybe even start another blog that has a purpose, something that people would actually like to read more than this, cus let's face it, this isn't very interesting!

Love and Kisses,
KABO