Well I took about a two hour nap last night while doing my paper so needless to say I'm super tired! I am not very happy with the outcome, I wish I had had more time to do it, like had it been due Wednesday I would have been able to turn in something that was quality. I've bascially come to the conclusion that I wont get my 4.0, so my goal is to get whatever I get in my Eng 352 and Clc 318 classes but get As in my other three. As far as my online classes go, well I want to kick ass on them but I'm not even going to stress anymore, whatever happens happens. I feel so drained right now. It's more than a lack of sleep, it's that I just finished a book over 1000 pages all about murder and it's depressing! I want to like curl up in a big blanked in front of a fireplace watching a sweet movie right now but that isn't gunna happen :-( I really should re-edit my outline that's due tomorrow but I seriously don't care anymore, I'd rather just relax, I need a freaking break!
I really miss my home right now, and I think most of that is because my mom is on the brink of putting it up for sale, I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to go back there. So many memories in that house, some great, some horrible. Like the houses in the horror stories we're reading in class, that house has become a character in my life, it is hard to let it go. It's also the end of my time there, the final cutting of the ties to my childhood. Once the house is gone I will never have my "home" to go back to, any place my family lives I will just be a visitor. Growing up is a scary thought but at the same time I can't wait to be a "real" adult, can't wait to have a salaried job, can't wait to start some real roots for myself. I've shed all the ties around the country, I'm free to roam where I please once I graduate, it's going to be amazing. I hope that this week and the eight weeks that follow it fly by (but at a pace I can keep up with) because that will mean I'll be one semester closer to tasting the responsibilities of life after college. I really hope that I get the chance to go to Venice this winter, it would be an amazing opportunity and I need the credits so it would be the most amazing way to get them. I hope that my class load next semester is a lot less challenging than this one, though I doubt it will be. I hope that I can keep my focus, that I don't fall into a state that is so overwhelmed that I give up. I hope that I can secure an amazing job. I hope so many things. All I can do though is take it one day at a time.
Tomorrow it's off to get my car fixed, I hope I don't forget about my appointment!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
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