George hasn't been feeling too great lately, I think his back is hurting him which makes me sad, but I've been trying to take really good care of him so hopefully he'll get better, or at least not get any worse. He's sitting on my lap like a little angel and it's so funny because sometimes I forget he's there because he's just so good. I need to go buy him some doggie aspirin but I only made seven dollars at work yesterday and I got cut for tomorrow and let's face it I will probably get sent home early Saturday morning because the hostess always gets cut first and then we'll see how it is waitressing Saturday night but unless I make a ton of tips I'll be even more screwed with my bills this month, ugh! I'm already $135 out of money I have been putting aside, I don't have much more in case I don't make much in the next week or two. I really wanted to get christmas gifts and stuff but I don't know what I'll be able to afford :(
As far as my restaurant goes, lately I wonder if we'll end up closing down. People who come in love the food, that's not the issue, the problem is that we have so few people coming in, I don't see how it's possible that we can afford it. On top of that people I work with are CONSTANTLY eating the food and drinking the alcohol without paying for it. I can't imagine how much that is costing the restaurant. Like the one time I drank after work with everyone I asked chef how much I owed him and he was like nothing, ummm they gave me a lot to drink, how is it that they didn't charge me, nor anyone there? Obviously I don't want us to close down because then I'd be out of a job but unless there are some big changes, mostly a huge influx of customers then I don't see how we will make it in this horrible economy. It's just another reason I can't wait to freaking graduate, I want to get into a job that is more stable, where my paying my bills doesn't depend on if people come in to buy a product I'm selling or not. 2.13 an hour sucks, but it sucks even more when I get one table for a whole night and only make 7 dollars. That isn't even minimum wage, totally not fair!
I'm also getting really tired of how I'm treated at work, mostly just by my manager. Like here's the deal, I may be an airhead but I'm not some stupid bimbo that people can treat like some sex object or something! I think I probably got more respect from my manager at Red Rock who straight up pulled up my dress one day or would talk about mine and others' appearance. Like as a cocktail waitress you know part of your job is to look hot and sexy and just be beautiful. You don't have to have much brains to serve drinks. As a waitress I wear long black pants, a large white button up shirt, an apron, and black sneakers. There really isn't anything sexy about my job. People don't care about me, they care about their conversations and their food, I'm just someone they have to deal with to get what their little tummys desire. When I hostess of course I'm supposed to look good, but it's still something different than a cocktail waitress. I'm the first person people see when they walk in the door so I have to look good but I don't have to look sexy and provocative. SO all that being said, it really annoys me how my manager constantly talks to me as if I'm some sex object. Like always saying I need to smile cus I'm prettier that way and talking about "Oh we need to only put Vegas on the door so more people will come in!" and stuff like that, it's so freaking frustrating! Like maybe if he talked to all the girls like that it wouldn't bother me so much but as far as I noticed he only reserves those kinds of comments for me. The worst part is this whole thing with one of the waiters lately. Apparently Steve has it in his little mind that I'm trying to get with this guy or something and makes comments about me "shagging" him and trying to "get it" and it's just so inappropriate! Like there are so many reasons why I wouldn't go after this server. First and foremost I MET HIS GIRLFRIEND! I'm sorry but last time I checked I'm not a slut so no I wouldn't ever go after a guy who I know is taken, that's just so trashy. Second, we work together, I don't need any drama or awkwardness, especially in such a small restaurant! And thirdly, ummm I don't even want a boyfriend right now because I need to focus on my own life and getting through the next few months and I'm not the kind of person who is just going to hook up with some guy just for the hell of it, if I wanted to be with something they would have to work their asses off and prove to me they were worth my time. I'm not and never will be looking for a hit it and quit it thing or a fuck buddy or whatever the fuck Steve thinks is going on. It's really sad that he can't even think that I'm just friendly with this waiter, I mean I don't even talk to the guy outside of work so seriously there isn't even any precedence to his thoughts!
Ok well my sleep schedule got toally fucked up this week and I need to get back to my homework and maybe take a nap before class at noon, so I better get off here, but I just wanted to get all that off my chest because it's really been bothering me.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Friday, December 3, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
One month gone
Well I'm a few minutes late but Kawika has been gone a month. I can't even comprehend that. How does time fly by like this. I have two weeks of classes left and then depending on work I should be home within three weeks and I would have been popping next door to see his precious smile and he isn't there anymore. Now I'm going to be going over to say hey to his ashes and give his parents lots of hugs. I probably wont be able to keep myself from crying, it's going to be so hard to face the reality that he really is gone. I just can't comprehend it, how is this amazing guy not alive anymore? My mom spent Thanksgiving with Lorna and Dave and I talked to Lorna on the phone and she just made me cry because they are all such great people and I love them and this really sucks. Why do drug addicts and pedophiles and killers and just horrible people get to live when somebody like Kawika has to be taken away from us? He literally had the best smile in the world and I can't believe I'll never see it again! Aside from that I am so happy that this is the last week of this semester before finals. I'm so burnt out from school and having this past week off was so good for me because I needed to recharge my batteries but yeah now I need to just get this semester done with. I have four essays to revise and turn in (one due Tuesday, the rest Thursday). Other than that this shouldn't be too hard of a week, we're just wrapping things up and getting out of here. If anything, the hardest part of the week will be the fact that I need to read another book (Frankenstein) because I need it for a paper that counts as my final for Eng 352. Next week will suck because I normally don't have to take finals but I have four this semester plus that said paper, and hopefully I can do my midterm for that independent study class as well. We'll see. I looked up more jobs in publishing today and they are still out there and I so wish I was just done so that I could be making money rather than freaking out because I have none.
Hmm well I better get back to my homework :-/
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Thursday, October 28, 2010
RIP Kawika
So today I found out that my childhood friend died in a motorcycle accident this morning. I've been crying on and off since then. I mean I've known the kid since I was 10 and it just sucks to know I'll never run into him again when I go home.
I first met Kawika (the w is pronounced like a v) when his family moved next door to us shortly after we moved in. He had an older sister Jaime who was nice but too old to want to hang out with my sisters or I. It was so great to have another kid on the block, and we all used to run around together after school along with Jacob and (sometimes) Kayce Kirkengard (prob spelled that wrong).
Kawika had a special connection to Shannon who, at five, decided that he was her first crush. He would give her his extra Pokemon cards and they were constantly getting into trouble for bike riding through the unfinished construction of the other houses on the block. She used to follow him around everywhere and he was never annoyed by it, he was just a nice guy.
George once bit him. Kawika and I had been joking around while walking George and he hit me to which George turned around and jumped up and bit him in the leg. Kawika the next day had this huge bruise on his thigh and threatened to tell his dad about it (Dave wasn't really somebody you wanted to have mad at you) and I told him if he did I would tell his dad he hit me and then he would be in trouble for starting it. Needless to say neither of us told our parents about the incident.
Our families, living right next to each other, were somewhat close. We constantly had barbecues together and hung out. We spent NYE 2000 there, all of us children wondering what would happen at the strike of midnight on Y2K, sorely disappointed when life went on as usual.
Eventually Dave and Lana (Kawika's parents) decided to move and for a couple years we didn't hear from them, then one 4th of July they showed up to the block party and walked into our house like no time at all had passed. We had so much fun joking around with Kawika that night, it hadn't mattered that years had gone by, it was really as if we had seen him the day before. We talked about hanging out and exchanged cell numbers and talked for a while after that. Always somehow being busy when the other was free to hang out or send a party invite. Eventually I was out of Las Vegas again and lost touch.
Over the summer his family moved back into their old house. We were neighbors once again. I was excited to be able to go home for a visit some time and catch up but never got the opportunity. Shannon was home just last week and saw him. She says he's still cute and still has a crush on him.
The world truly lost an amazing person today. I may not have seen him for a while but he and his family have always been dear in my heart. It hurts so bad knowing that I'll never reconnect with him, knowing that he's with God instead of everyone who loved him. Death really sucks and I can't imagine how his family is feeling right now. My mom was with them right after they got the news and she said it was the worst pain she has ever seen. Out of respect to them I wont repeat what she saw but they are torn apart. I think anyone who knows him is.
My mom and sisters and I have been sharing stories about him and we have so many. I just wish I was with them now because it sucks being so far from home when a tragedy like this happens.
Kawika I hope that you are happy wherever you are now. You will be missed.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
I first met Kawika (the w is pronounced like a v) when his family moved next door to us shortly after we moved in. He had an older sister Jaime who was nice but too old to want to hang out with my sisters or I. It was so great to have another kid on the block, and we all used to run around together after school along with Jacob and (sometimes) Kayce Kirkengard (prob spelled that wrong).
Kawika had a special connection to Shannon who, at five, decided that he was her first crush. He would give her his extra Pokemon cards and they were constantly getting into trouble for bike riding through the unfinished construction of the other houses on the block. She used to follow him around everywhere and he was never annoyed by it, he was just a nice guy.
George once bit him. Kawika and I had been joking around while walking George and he hit me to which George turned around and jumped up and bit him in the leg. Kawika the next day had this huge bruise on his thigh and threatened to tell his dad about it (Dave wasn't really somebody you wanted to have mad at you) and I told him if he did I would tell his dad he hit me and then he would be in trouble for starting it. Needless to say neither of us told our parents about the incident.
Our families, living right next to each other, were somewhat close. We constantly had barbecues together and hung out. We spent NYE 2000 there, all of us children wondering what would happen at the strike of midnight on Y2K, sorely disappointed when life went on as usual.
Eventually Dave and Lana (Kawika's parents) decided to move and for a couple years we didn't hear from them, then one 4th of July they showed up to the block party and walked into our house like no time at all had passed. We had so much fun joking around with Kawika that night, it hadn't mattered that years had gone by, it was really as if we had seen him the day before. We talked about hanging out and exchanged cell numbers and talked for a while after that. Always somehow being busy when the other was free to hang out or send a party invite. Eventually I was out of Las Vegas again and lost touch.
Over the summer his family moved back into their old house. We were neighbors once again. I was excited to be able to go home for a visit some time and catch up but never got the opportunity. Shannon was home just last week and saw him. She says he's still cute and still has a crush on him.
The world truly lost an amazing person today. I may not have seen him for a while but he and his family have always been dear in my heart. It hurts so bad knowing that I'll never reconnect with him, knowing that he's with God instead of everyone who loved him. Death really sucks and I can't imagine how his family is feeling right now. My mom was with them right after they got the news and she said it was the worst pain she has ever seen. Out of respect to them I wont repeat what she saw but they are torn apart. I think anyone who knows him is.
My mom and sisters and I have been sharing stories about him and we have so many. I just wish I was with them now because it sucks being so far from home when a tragedy like this happens.
Kawika I hope that you are happy wherever you are now. You will be missed.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Monday, October 18, 2010
Will I ever graduate?!
So the class schedule FINALLY came out today and guess what, I'm so fucked! There are three classes I absolutely need and one of them is only being offered to the honors college students and the other two are at the same time. I emailed my advisor to see if there was anything she could help me with but she told me that it was out of her hands and to talk to the Dean's office so I emailed the college of Liberal Arts office and hopefully they can get back to me tomorrow and help me out with this. What really sucks is that one of the classes is required for English majors but for some asinine reason they only have offered it every other semester. If there is a class that you absolutely have to take it should be offered EVERY semester to ensure that everyone has the ability to take it ya know! There are a few ways that I can see this fixed-1)They can allow me to take a 100 level Classics class and just count it as having finihed my minor. 2)They can promise me to offer Shakespeare in the summer and then I can just take it then 3)They can allow me to take the Shakespeare in film class or whatever it is and count it for my 385 credit. Any of those options would be fine with me. If they are not okay with any of them then I am basically completely and utterly screwed! I'm seriously so over this shit, I just want to be DONE with college! I mean once I leave I'll have like three or four classes over what I need because I took classes that don't count towards my major and minor and therefore don't need them.
I'm so happy though that the semester is over half-way done. There are six weeks left and they couldn't come soon enough. As fast as this semester has gone so far I think they will probably fly by as well. Especially with all the stuff that I have due in the coming weeks. Two tests this week, a paper due sometime soon, another crazy hard test in Etruscan art, a book a week for Eng 418, and work on top of that. Luckily this week I'll be working four shifts- three waiting and one hostessing so hopefully I'll make some good money cus I really need it. I just filled up my tank and put three bills in the mail, leaving my bank account basically empty. I still need to pay my cable and internet bill which is 140 so I need to make good money in order to do that and still have something to get food with. Agh I hate being a broke college kid! I'm ready to be a broke adult lol.
If one thing good happened to me today it was my sisters. Man do I love those girls so much. Just as I was about to breakdown over the class situation I found a note from Pookie that she hid for me when she visited over in july.
And then Heather called me and let me bitch to her for twenty minutes! I just really needed some sisterly love and it was great to have it from them both!
Now time to delve into my homework and maybe work on trying to find an internship and yeah.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
I'm so happy though that the semester is over half-way done. There are six weeks left and they couldn't come soon enough. As fast as this semester has gone so far I think they will probably fly by as well. Especially with all the stuff that I have due in the coming weeks. Two tests this week, a paper due sometime soon, another crazy hard test in Etruscan art, a book a week for Eng 418, and work on top of that. Luckily this week I'll be working four shifts- three waiting and one hostessing so hopefully I'll make some good money cus I really need it. I just filled up my tank and put three bills in the mail, leaving my bank account basically empty. I still need to pay my cable and internet bill which is 140 so I need to make good money in order to do that and still have something to get food with. Agh I hate being a broke college kid! I'm ready to be a broke adult lol.
If one thing good happened to me today it was my sisters. Man do I love those girls so much. Just as I was about to breakdown over the class situation I found a note from Pookie that she hid for me when she visited over in july.
Now time to delve into my homework and maybe work on trying to find an internship and yeah.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Thursday, October 14, 2010
I'm Colonel Reb's girl forever!
Today was a sad day at Ole Miss as the dumb ass mascot committe announced our new on-field mascot of the black bear! It is beyond dumb! This abomination looks like a freaking giant teddy bear...way to go Ole Miss...that will really rial up the fans haha. I haven't heart ONE person saying they liked the idea and therefore I think the mascot committee was on crack when they said students were happy about it! Colonel Reb is forever my man, no other mascot will replace him in my heart that's for sure. I refuse to support this retarded selection and am going to try and pretend that it doesn't exist! Ironically, when I got ready for school today I didn't know that Ole Miss had made this autrocious announcement and went to school wearing my shirt that says, "My heart belongs to the Colonel" haha what a perfect day to show my support! Hotty Toddy the bear suck and Col Reb is the shit! I also find it somewhat ironic that we had to get rid of Col Reb because black people said he was racists and now our mascot is a black animal...not that the two really have anything to do with each other but it still seems kind of funny to me. Almost makes me want to start a fuss over them picking a black animal and representing symbolically the black student's power over the whites on campus. I mean if they can say dumb ass shit about the Colonel than why can't I say dumb ass shit about this dumb ass mascot! I mean what self-respecting Ole Miss student or alumni is really going to cheer on a fucking bear! Ugh it gets me so mad! We were fine without an official mascot so just let us keep it that way! Talking about race things though, I still have to go back and meet with Dr Cole, I've just been too busy lately. Hopefully next week because I still want to give him a piece of my mind about shit on campus.
Well on a happier note I just finished my last midterm! Yay! Not that I'm going to be less stressed out but at least I don't have to worry about major tests again until December. I'm basically positive that I wont get my 4.0 cus the midterm in CLC 317 sucked balls and there is no way in hell I got an A on it. I'll probably be lucky to get a B in that freaking class, ugh. Another good thing is that I get to hostess on Friday night! I am somewhat torn on what to wear but I think I'm going with a dress I bought for my Conformation a million years ago. It's classy but short so that makes it kind of sexy. Then if I add some nice brown heels I'll look smoking (I hope at least).
Well I think that's really all for now!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Well on a happier note I just finished my last midterm! Yay! Not that I'm going to be less stressed out but at least I don't have to worry about major tests again until December. I'm basically positive that I wont get my 4.0 cus the midterm in CLC 317 sucked balls and there is no way in hell I got an A on it. I'll probably be lucky to get a B in that freaking class, ugh. Another good thing is that I get to hostess on Friday night! I am somewhat torn on what to wear but I think I'm going with a dress I bought for my Conformation a million years ago. It's classy but short so that makes it kind of sexy. Then if I add some nice brown heels I'll look smoking (I hope at least).
Well I think that's really all for now!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Friday, October 8, 2010
Hell yeah, Damn Right!
I'm in a super good mood right now and i'm not quite sure why but whatever I'm not going to complain about it. It may just be because this week I actually was able to semi-relax, it was probably the easiest week of schook that I've had and probably will have all semester. There was no test in mythology (and I found out I got a 114 on the last one), one of my Eng 418 classes was cancelled, the midterm for CLC 318 was moved to next Tuesday, and we watched a movie in my Eng 352 class. Had I known it was going to be so great I would have picked up a Wednesday shift but I didn't find out about everything till after the schedule was made. Next week though I have two midterms so it will be crazy again. I probably should have used my extra time to do some of my homework in advance but I just needed a break. I was way too stressed out and it was nice to have a week without constant breakdowns.
So today and in the last few days I've really been looking into my future and I feel so good about things to come. There are some really awesome apartments out there and with Heather and I living together it means we can afford something nicer than if just I get a place. Like according to what I looked up my salary to start out with will probably be in the 43k range, which isn't so much fun but whatever I'm only gunna do that till I can publish my own book! But with that I think that I can probably afford spending up to 2.5k a month on rent, if Heather can do the same than we can get an apartment for 5k a month, that should be easy I would think! Obviously I don't want to spend that much, I'd rather get something for around 3-3.5 but at least I know it's plausible to do better. Also the more I research into the publishing world the more I think it's a good place for me. There's room for advancement and it just seems like hard but fun work. I really hope that my uncle can help me get a job somewhere. If anything maybe he'll have leads to good jobs for me, we'll see. I just really hope that not having an internship wont hurt me! I don't think it will though because I think I have a really good academic and personal background that would make me the sort of person a company would look for.
Well I have to work a double tomorrow so I really should get to bed but life is treating me well right now so I can't complain. Hopefully I make lots of money tomorrow at work!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
So today and in the last few days I've really been looking into my future and I feel so good about things to come. There are some really awesome apartments out there and with Heather and I living together it means we can afford something nicer than if just I get a place. Like according to what I looked up my salary to start out with will probably be in the 43k range, which isn't so much fun but whatever I'm only gunna do that till I can publish my own book! But with that I think that I can probably afford spending up to 2.5k a month on rent, if Heather can do the same than we can get an apartment for 5k a month, that should be easy I would think! Obviously I don't want to spend that much, I'd rather get something for around 3-3.5 but at least I know it's plausible to do better. Also the more I research into the publishing world the more I think it's a good place for me. There's room for advancement and it just seems like hard but fun work. I really hope that my uncle can help me get a job somewhere. If anything maybe he'll have leads to good jobs for me, we'll see. I just really hope that not having an internship wont hurt me! I don't think it will though because I think I have a really good academic and personal background that would make me the sort of person a company would look for.
Well I have to work a double tomorrow so I really should get to bed but life is treating me well right now so I can't complain. Hopefully I make lots of money tomorrow at work!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Monday, October 4, 2010
Oh me, Oh my
Well I took about a two hour nap last night while doing my paper so needless to say I'm super tired! I am not very happy with the outcome, I wish I had had more time to do it, like had it been due Wednesday I would have been able to turn in something that was quality. I've bascially come to the conclusion that I wont get my 4.0, so my goal is to get whatever I get in my Eng 352 and Clc 318 classes but get As in my other three. As far as my online classes go, well I want to kick ass on them but I'm not even going to stress anymore, whatever happens happens. I feel so drained right now. It's more than a lack of sleep, it's that I just finished a book over 1000 pages all about murder and it's depressing! I want to like curl up in a big blanked in front of a fireplace watching a sweet movie right now but that isn't gunna happen :-( I really should re-edit my outline that's due tomorrow but I seriously don't care anymore, I'd rather just relax, I need a freaking break!
I really miss my home right now, and I think most of that is because my mom is on the brink of putting it up for sale, I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to go back there. So many memories in that house, some great, some horrible. Like the houses in the horror stories we're reading in class, that house has become a character in my life, it is hard to let it go. It's also the end of my time there, the final cutting of the ties to my childhood. Once the house is gone I will never have my "home" to go back to, any place my family lives I will just be a visitor. Growing up is a scary thought but at the same time I can't wait to be a "real" adult, can't wait to have a salaried job, can't wait to start some real roots for myself. I've shed all the ties around the country, I'm free to roam where I please once I graduate, it's going to be amazing. I hope that this week and the eight weeks that follow it fly by (but at a pace I can keep up with) because that will mean I'll be one semester closer to tasting the responsibilities of life after college. I really hope that I get the chance to go to Venice this winter, it would be an amazing opportunity and I need the credits so it would be the most amazing way to get them. I hope that my class load next semester is a lot less challenging than this one, though I doubt it will be. I hope that I can keep my focus, that I don't fall into a state that is so overwhelmed that I give up. I hope that I can secure an amazing job. I hope so many things. All I can do though is take it one day at a time.
Tomorrow it's off to get my car fixed, I hope I don't forget about my appointment!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
I really miss my home right now, and I think most of that is because my mom is on the brink of putting it up for sale, I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to go back there. So many memories in that house, some great, some horrible. Like the houses in the horror stories we're reading in class, that house has become a character in my life, it is hard to let it go. It's also the end of my time there, the final cutting of the ties to my childhood. Once the house is gone I will never have my "home" to go back to, any place my family lives I will just be a visitor. Growing up is a scary thought but at the same time I can't wait to be a "real" adult, can't wait to have a salaried job, can't wait to start some real roots for myself. I've shed all the ties around the country, I'm free to roam where I please once I graduate, it's going to be amazing. I hope that this week and the eight weeks that follow it fly by (but at a pace I can keep up with) because that will mean I'll be one semester closer to tasting the responsibilities of life after college. I really hope that I get the chance to go to Venice this winter, it would be an amazing opportunity and I need the credits so it would be the most amazing way to get them. I hope that my class load next semester is a lot less challenging than this one, though I doubt it will be. I hope that I can keep my focus, that I don't fall into a state that is so overwhelmed that I give up. I hope that I can secure an amazing job. I hope so many things. All I can do though is take it one day at a time.
Tomorrow it's off to get my car fixed, I hope I don't forget about my appointment!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Halfway there!
So once again I have a million things to do and not enough time to do them. I have severly missed out on writing on here but what can I say, I'm just too busy to take the time out of my day. School has been stressing me out to a point where I have a breakdown basically like every night. I can't believe though that tomorrow starts the 7th week of classes, which means there is only 7 more after it's over (8 if you include the week we get off for Thanksgiving). I have midterms this week and next week and then I'll need to schedule my biology final so that I have one less class to worry about. My geology teacher told me that when I take the midterm I need to be prepared for it to be especially hard and something that I will need to study for extensively. I don't have to worry about that for a few weeks though because I have too many assignments left to do it any time soon. Work was better this weekend, I think taking the weekdays off really helped to relieve a lot of the pressure I felt going there, plus I studied the menu a bit more so that I don't have to ask the kitchen questions. This week I have to bring my car in because my breaks are just awful, they have been squeaking for months and now it looks like it's gunna cost a million dollars to get that fixed, ugh, just what I don't need right now! Side note-I'm in my room and my puppy keeps checking himself out in the mirror-SO funny! Well, so outside of school and work and my car being an asshole, I really have had no life. I think after this semester is over I'm going ot have to break my no drinking rule and go out for a crazy night on the town, one I will for sure regret the next day lol. My mom may be coming to see me in like a week and a half and I really hope she can make it out here because I freaking miss her and it would just be nice to have her here for a minute. Ok well I really must go, but I am going to try and get better about writing on here. Maybe even start another blog that has a purpose, something that people would actually like to read more than this, cus let's face it, this isn't very interesting!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thoughts
So right now I should be doing homework, I mean it's 2:30 in the morning and I still haven't done my Latin nor sent my project notes to my group so that the blonde guy can make up the power point. My mind and heart are just not into doing those things right now. Instead I'm sitting here and contemplating my life and myself and whatnot.
I was browsing my facebook and looking through old pictures, seeing all the good times I have had, all the friends I no longer speak to, how my body has gone through times of being really skinny but I never see myself that way. I think my issue tonight is that I'm no longer comfortable in Oxford. Out here I can't really be myself without being judged. I stress over the fact that my clothes never fit in, that people judge me for wearing white even though it's after Labor day, for not following the boring styles of the city, I stress over looking too out of place, of being too fat, of blending in and not standing out in good way, it's not that I'm unhappy here but at the same time it is. I feel insecure and lonely but at the same time I like myself and don't want to hang out with basically anyone I know in town. What's funny is that as much as I get sick of Vegas and feel trapped there at least I can be me there. Nobody looks at you funny if you have piercings or crazy colored hair or skimpy clothes on. Vegas really can be a place to feel free and I miss that. I mean in Vegas I felt like a hot girl, whether or not people looked at me that way doesnt matter because that's just how I felt. I mean I was cocktailing and being told a million times a day how beautiful I was (mind you it was either by old sweet people or drunkies but still it felt good lol). I don't feel that way out here, I feel like people see a sign on my forehead that says "NOT SOUTHERN" so they disregard me, not wanting a friend or girl who doesn't fit some dumb ass mold.
I just wish I had more time for me. When I take time to relax I end up regretting it because I have so much stuff to do. I need a minute to breath. I wish I had time to go on runs and just work out and de-stress. I don't want to go back into work, I really don't want to see those people again, but I also don't want to ask my dad to fully support me, he shouldn't have to, I'm 23 and should already have graduated and been taking care of myself. Maybe I'll just take out a personal loan so that I can not work and just focus on my classes and have less to worry about. It would help because working on Wednesdays is really killing me because I have tests on Thursdays and with work I basically don't have time to study for them because I get home late. Maybe I'll ask my dad if it's ok if I change to just working weekends for a while while I'm taking so many classes. Idk. I have to figure out what would be best for me.
I think things would be better if I felt comfortable with how I looked. I need to lose weight and at this point I feel like I'm going to have to be basically not eating in order to do that. To save money and cut calories I think I'm going to just finish the juices I have in my fridge and start only drinking water. Then I'm just going to cut out pasta's and eat fruits and veggies. I wont cut out cheese because I like it too much so I'll be getting my fair share of calories from that. Once I start loosing weight (which freaking better happen) I'll feel a lot better. I'm always happiest when I'm skinny, and by skinny I mean so much so that other people get nervous that I need to eat, as in like 115lbs. I haven't been that thin for like two years but I'm gunna get back there because I miss all the cute clothes that I have that I'm too fat for right now grr. On top of that I'm going to pester my mom until she finds my freaking extensions and then I'll make her send me them and my heater thingy and I'll buy some of the bonding pieces online and I'll either put my extensions in myself or have my mom come out and do them for me (yeah we may not be hairdressers but we watched Chris do them enough to know how to do it ourselves). Once I'm back to being skinny with long, beautifully full hair I'll look more like the girl I feel like inside. Screw these bitches and assholes out here...I know what makes me happy and I'm going to just do it! And part of that will be getting blonde highlights again because I just have to have my blonde!
Well now it's 3:30 basically, I've wasted an hour of my night crying on the phone with my mom because I'm so stressed and writing this and yelling at my dogs for being annoying and loud and just getting on my nerves and now it's really just time to get my fucking homework done. I doubt I'll be getting much sleep, if any tonight but it is what it is I guess. All that matters is graduating and this semester may be killing me but it'll be worth it in the end when I'm 21 credits closer to graduating. Hell three of those credits should be finished sometime in the next two or three weeks I think (as long as I don't fall of schedule that is!). Well if you found this post pathetic then I'm sorry but try putting yourself in my shoes- 7 classes, a job, bills, two dogs to take care of, and all of my best friends not living in town anymore. It sucks, I have every right to bitch.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
I was browsing my facebook and looking through old pictures, seeing all the good times I have had, all the friends I no longer speak to, how my body has gone through times of being really skinny but I never see myself that way. I think my issue tonight is that I'm no longer comfortable in Oxford. Out here I can't really be myself without being judged. I stress over the fact that my clothes never fit in, that people judge me for wearing white even though it's after Labor day, for not following the boring styles of the city, I stress over looking too out of place, of being too fat, of blending in and not standing out in good way, it's not that I'm unhappy here but at the same time it is. I feel insecure and lonely but at the same time I like myself and don't want to hang out with basically anyone I know in town. What's funny is that as much as I get sick of Vegas and feel trapped there at least I can be me there. Nobody looks at you funny if you have piercings or crazy colored hair or skimpy clothes on. Vegas really can be a place to feel free and I miss that. I mean in Vegas I felt like a hot girl, whether or not people looked at me that way doesnt matter because that's just how I felt. I mean I was cocktailing and being told a million times a day how beautiful I was (mind you it was either by old sweet people or drunkies but still it felt good lol). I don't feel that way out here, I feel like people see a sign on my forehead that says "NOT SOUTHERN" so they disregard me, not wanting a friend or girl who doesn't fit some dumb ass mold.
I just wish I had more time for me. When I take time to relax I end up regretting it because I have so much stuff to do. I need a minute to breath. I wish I had time to go on runs and just work out and de-stress. I don't want to go back into work, I really don't want to see those people again, but I also don't want to ask my dad to fully support me, he shouldn't have to, I'm 23 and should already have graduated and been taking care of myself. Maybe I'll just take out a personal loan so that I can not work and just focus on my classes and have less to worry about. It would help because working on Wednesdays is really killing me because I have tests on Thursdays and with work I basically don't have time to study for them because I get home late. Maybe I'll ask my dad if it's ok if I change to just working weekends for a while while I'm taking so many classes. Idk. I have to figure out what would be best for me.
I think things would be better if I felt comfortable with how I looked. I need to lose weight and at this point I feel like I'm going to have to be basically not eating in order to do that. To save money and cut calories I think I'm going to just finish the juices I have in my fridge and start only drinking water. Then I'm just going to cut out pasta's and eat fruits and veggies. I wont cut out cheese because I like it too much so I'll be getting my fair share of calories from that. Once I start loosing weight (which freaking better happen) I'll feel a lot better. I'm always happiest when I'm skinny, and by skinny I mean so much so that other people get nervous that I need to eat, as in like 115lbs. I haven't been that thin for like two years but I'm gunna get back there because I miss all the cute clothes that I have that I'm too fat for right now grr. On top of that I'm going to pester my mom until she finds my freaking extensions and then I'll make her send me them and my heater thingy and I'll buy some of the bonding pieces online and I'll either put my extensions in myself or have my mom come out and do them for me (yeah we may not be hairdressers but we watched Chris do them enough to know how to do it ourselves). Once I'm back to being skinny with long, beautifully full hair I'll look more like the girl I feel like inside. Screw these bitches and assholes out here...I know what makes me happy and I'm going to just do it! And part of that will be getting blonde highlights again because I just have to have my blonde!
Well now it's 3:30 basically, I've wasted an hour of my night crying on the phone with my mom because I'm so stressed and writing this and yelling at my dogs for being annoying and loud and just getting on my nerves and now it's really just time to get my fucking homework done. I doubt I'll be getting much sleep, if any tonight but it is what it is I guess. All that matters is graduating and this semester may be killing me but it'll be worth it in the end when I'm 21 credits closer to graduating. Hell three of those credits should be finished sometime in the next two or three weeks I think (as long as I don't fall of schedule that is!). Well if you found this post pathetic then I'm sorry but try putting yourself in my shoes- 7 classes, a job, bills, two dogs to take care of, and all of my best friends not living in town anymore. It sucks, I have every right to bitch.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Sunday, September 19, 2010
blah
Well things in my life have been crazy. I've been doing well in school which is all that matters to me in my life right now honestly. Work was out of control on Friday and if I didn't need the money for bills I would not go back. It wasn't the people because they were all very nice to me, but rather my coworkers. I was busy and there was miscommunication between my manager and me (or rather NO communication from him to me) and how he reacted was beyond wrong. Basically I think I am going to start looking for another job because I don't think that is the kind of environment that I want to be a part of. Idk maybe I'm overreacting and everything will be fine when I go in again on Wednesday. For now I'm going to make notecards up and memorize everything about that fucking menu so that I don't really have to talk to anyone for any reason other then the bare minimum. I don't trust anyone there anymore and I really don't know if I ever will, it's like that saying, give the people the rope and let them hang themselves. I gave everyone a chance and their true colors came out, I don't care if you are stressed out, so was I but last time I checked I wasn't treating everyone there like shit.
On a different note, my friend Dusten came into town and it was so nice to see him. Rufus absolutely ate him up, like loved him so much that he wouldn't leave poor Dusten alone and I had to put him in his box so that he would calm down (which didn't really work). It is so great to catch up and talk to someone who is on the same page as me with how he feels about life. It seems like lately I've been gravitating towards friends with the same outlook and shedding those friends who are still immature and whatnot. Funny though, apparently Dusten was told that his ex (also my ex "best friend") was being cheated on by her bf, who Dusten was also told doesn't really even like her but just keeps her around for some reason. I don't know what the truth of the matter is and it doesn't affect my life in any way but I find it a bit funny because she is such a hanious, selfish, bitch that it would almost be karma getting her back if that were the case. Like I said though, it really doesn't matter to me.
So on to much more interesting things...if you read this COMMENT it! I mean I know I get a reader here and there so let me know what you think about whatever I have to say, well I guess only if it's not a super mundane post that it.
How do you feel about being a vegetarian? For me, I hate that animals get killed so harshly but that just feels so far removed from me that it's hard to use that as a reason to not eat meat. What really gets me is how I feel when I eat meat compared to how I feel when I don't. These days I feel just as full, if not fuller, when I eat a salad as I used to when I would eat a steak. Taking meat out of my diet is hard but so worth it in the end. Yeah I cheat every now and again, but I ALWAYS regret it because it gives me the worst stomach ache. It's really hard to feel guilty about eating a salad so yeah. Ok I'm kinda not making sense so I'm gunna say goodbye now and maybe bring this topic up another time that isn't 4am.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
On a different note, my friend Dusten came into town and it was so nice to see him. Rufus absolutely ate him up, like loved him so much that he wouldn't leave poor Dusten alone and I had to put him in his box so that he would calm down (which didn't really work). It is so great to catch up and talk to someone who is on the same page as me with how he feels about life. It seems like lately I've been gravitating towards friends with the same outlook and shedding those friends who are still immature and whatnot. Funny though, apparently Dusten was told that his ex (also my ex "best friend") was being cheated on by her bf, who Dusten was also told doesn't really even like her but just keeps her around for some reason. I don't know what the truth of the matter is and it doesn't affect my life in any way but I find it a bit funny because she is such a hanious, selfish, bitch that it would almost be karma getting her back if that were the case. Like I said though, it really doesn't matter to me.
So on to much more interesting things...if you read this COMMENT it! I mean I know I get a reader here and there so let me know what you think about whatever I have to say, well I guess only if it's not a super mundane post that it.
How do you feel about being a vegetarian? For me, I hate that animals get killed so harshly but that just feels so far removed from me that it's hard to use that as a reason to not eat meat. What really gets me is how I feel when I eat meat compared to how I feel when I don't. These days I feel just as full, if not fuller, when I eat a salad as I used to when I would eat a steak. Taking meat out of my diet is hard but so worth it in the end. Yeah I cheat every now and again, but I ALWAYS regret it because it gives me the worst stomach ache. It's really hard to feel guilty about eating a salad so yeah. Ok I'm kinda not making sense so I'm gunna say goodbye now and maybe bring this topic up another time that isn't 4am.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Another day, Another damn I'm tired!
So it's after 10pm and I still have a shitload of stuff to do. I'm justifying writing this because I'm boiling water for dinner...a girl's got to eat right?
Good news of the day-
1)I got a 106 on my mythology quiz last week...but it was really graded wrong so it's only a 102 but I HAD to tell my teacher because I don't need any bad Karma from keeping a grade I didn't deserve!
2)I saw my adviser and a bunch of my credits that I didn't think would transfer did so by the end of Spring semester I'll have over the 124 required to graduate, only thing is that I wont be done because I have some required classes to do over summer but whatever.
3)I just may go to Venice this winter for an English class with my adviser and her husband (who was one of my profs last semester). They are just really cute, sweet old people so if that works out financially then hell yeah it's gunna be great!
4)No matter what my dad said he'd go half with me on my passport which is awesome cus that means I can go get that as soon as I have a few minutes to spare, hopefully sometime next week. Once I have a passport again the world will be my oyster! Yeyah!
5)I think I'm about done with my bibliography for my CLC 317 class, which means that I can forget about the paper for a few days before I start working on the outline. As much as a pain as all of this is I have to say that it's nice to have deadlines so that I don't leave the whole thing till the last minute.
Other news/topics of discussion-
Well I find out my grade on my Latin test tomorrow, hopefully I don't have a heart attack if it's not great. Talking about my heart, lately I've been having palpitations and dizzy spells...I'm beginning to think it's how my body now deals with stress which is not a good thing! I really want to write more but my dinner is done so it's time to get back to school work (which means I need to finish watching the movie for The Onion Field and then read for 352 and mythology!)
Good news of the day-
1)I got a 106 on my mythology quiz last week...but it was really graded wrong so it's only a 102 but I HAD to tell my teacher because I don't need any bad Karma from keeping a grade I didn't deserve!
2)I saw my adviser and a bunch of my credits that I didn't think would transfer did so by the end of Spring semester I'll have over the 124 required to graduate, only thing is that I wont be done because I have some required classes to do over summer but whatever.
3)I just may go to Venice this winter for an English class with my adviser and her husband (who was one of my profs last semester). They are just really cute, sweet old people so if that works out financially then hell yeah it's gunna be great!
4)No matter what my dad said he'd go half with me on my passport which is awesome cus that means I can go get that as soon as I have a few minutes to spare, hopefully sometime next week. Once I have a passport again the world will be my oyster! Yeyah!
5)I think I'm about done with my bibliography for my CLC 317 class, which means that I can forget about the paper for a few days before I start working on the outline. As much as a pain as all of this is I have to say that it's nice to have deadlines so that I don't leave the whole thing till the last minute.
Other news/topics of discussion-
Well I find out my grade on my Latin test tomorrow, hopefully I don't have a heart attack if it's not great. Talking about my heart, lately I've been having palpitations and dizzy spells...I'm beginning to think it's how my body now deals with stress which is not a good thing! I really want to write more but my dinner is done so it's time to get back to school work (which means I need to finish watching the movie for The Onion Field and then read for 352 and mythology!)
Monday, September 13, 2010
Is the semester over yet?
So I have been over school since before this year's classes even started and I really wonder how I'm going to get through it! Seriously things better fly by.
Today I was tremendously busy- had a test this afternoon so I got to school early to study for it, had class, had the test which I'm not too sure how I did but I don't think I failed so I guess that's all that matters, had a meeting with my professor, had to go to the bank, had to get my car registered, had to run to the grocery store, came home and had time to eat, do the dishes, and vacuum before heading out to a meeting for a project, had the project meeting where my teammates haven't even finished the book yet, came home and started researching for my bibliography that's due on THURSDAY and that I can't find like anything for ugh, need to now find time to do a biology assignment, read the next section in my novel for English 352, shower, and get to sleep. Tomorrow is about the same pace as today! FML I'm so over this shit!
Life would have been so much better had I been able to be an English major and an English minor...or just not had a minor at all...I'm so nervous that tomorrow when I go see my adviser to look over my graduation request she's going to like tell me I'm super behind and gunna be stuck here FOREVER. All I want to do is graduate, move to NYC and live with Heather, have a fab job in publishing, not worry about bills every day, and have time to relax every now and again. Let's start a countdown to the end of this semester...it'll have to be in weeks for now cus I thin that doing it by classes would be too depressing...so 11 weeks (including this week) of school left before finals! Wohoo...three down already! Now the last possible class I could ever take here would be August intersession which has finals on August 14, 11 months and one day from now! I'm hoping to be done with classes by then but if something happens and I'm not then at least I know that they wont have be for longer than that! Technically though I need to be done with my last class during second summer session because that ends in July which is good because my lease is up here on August 5th. Well keep those fingers crossed for me!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
ps- no idea why that last paragraph is double spaced but that wasn't my doing!
Today I was tremendously busy- had a test this afternoon so I got to school early to study for it, had class, had the test which I'm not too sure how I did but I don't think I failed so I guess that's all that matters, had a meeting with my professor, had to go to the bank, had to get my car registered, had to run to the grocery store, came home and had time to eat, do the dishes, and vacuum before heading out to a meeting for a project, had the project meeting where my teammates haven't even finished the book yet, came home and started researching for my bibliography that's due on THURSDAY and that I can't find like anything for ugh, need to now find time to do a biology assignment, read the next section in my novel for English 352, shower, and get to sleep. Tomorrow is about the same pace as today! FML I'm so over this shit!
Life would have been so much better had I been able to be an English major and an English minor...or just not had a minor at all...I'm so nervous that tomorrow when I go see my adviser to look over my graduation request she's going to like tell me I'm super behind and gunna be stuck here FOREVER. All I want to do is graduate, move to NYC and live with Heather, have a fab job in publishing, not worry about bills every day, and have time to relax every now and again. Let's start a countdown to the end of this semester...it'll have to be in weeks for now cus I thin that doing it by classes would be too depressing...so 11 weeks (including this week) of school left before finals! Wohoo...three down already! Now the last possible class I could ever take here would be August intersession which has finals on August 14, 11 months and one day from now! I'm hoping to be done with classes by then but if something happens and I'm not then at least I know that they wont have be for longer than that! Technically though I need to be done with my last class during second summer session because that ends in July which is good because my lease is up here on August 5th. Well keep those fingers crossed for me!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
ps- no idea why that last paragraph is double spaced but that wasn't my doing!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I'm spacing bad today!
So first of all I want to say that I have an "official" follower and idk if you are someone I know or some rando but it makes me pretty excited lol. It's just nice to see that someone other than my mother is reading my daily (well sometimes daily) posts!
Ok so at work this morning I only had three tables and basically made no money which sucks but I guess it is what it is. I totally was spaced out for the first table and basically forgot to ask them EVERYTHING that I was supposed to, like whether they wanted fries or grits, how poached the one lady wanted her eggs, if they wanted a biscuit or toast, and whatever else. I only kinda messed up on the second table and I totally kicked ass on the third...I blame it on the fact that we didn't have any customers last week and that I was still sleepy lol. Next week the Vandy game is at 11am so we are going to be closed which means I only have work Wednesday and Friday nights so hopefully I make a killing on those nights to make up for not having a Saturday shift.
So when I got off work I totally forgot to go pick up flash cards to study for my Latin class so I ended up having to go back out and pick them up. I brought George for the car ride and he was soooo happy, didn't bark at all! I was on the phone with my dad though and he gave me bad news, my cat has a tumor in his mouth and to remove it would cost a grand. The vet is apparently out of the country so it was just like a receptionist who told my dad that and he has to go back in a week and find out the full story from the vet. I'm not happy, I love my Sgt Pepper so much and I really hope that it's not something serious.
So since I have gotten home somehow the day has just slipped past me. I just spent the last so long trying to figure out my graduation application and on one hand it looks like I'll need to take 10 hours during summer school/winter intersession but on the other it could be a lot more if it has to be only English classes or only classes over the 300 level. Ugh idk but it better just be those ten credits cus that's nothing. I could be done with school by the end of July which would be perfect cus my lease ends in August. If it's more than those classes then idk what I'm going to do because I don't know how I'll get through all the credits and out of here in the next year. I really regret all the time that I have taken off of school and all the credits that I could have taken but didn't or the classes that didn't transfer or whatever. Idk it's super confusing for some reason, my brain just isn't working I don't think. I emailed my advisor so hopefully she gets back to me soon and helps me figure out what the hell is going on with my credits.
Well my Rebs play Tulane in a half hour, so I really hope we kick some ass. I'll actually edit this post after the game to give my reaction to whatever the outcome is. Can't wait for the game next week cus now that I don't have work I should be able to make it to the grove and maybe even the game if I can still buy a ticket. Dusten is coming into town and Josh is thinking about it so that's pretty exciting.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Ok so we WON! Yay! The first half was amazing, I finally see why we asked Masoli to come play with us, he made some really good moved out there on the field for sure. I was very disappointed by the like two seconds that Nathan Stanley played and just did awful in, I'm hoping that it was just cus of the shoulder injury that they kept saying he had. Then they like changed the channel the game was on and I couldn't find it and I missed a bit of it and I'm not very happy about that...once again showing I'm spacey today cus I didn't think to look up the channel online lol. The third quarter was BRUTAL, I was so scared that we were going to mess up and repeat last week's loss but we came back strong and smart in the last quarter so I was very happy about that. Overall I still want to see a little bit more from our defense, want Stanley to play more often but only if he plays like the did last week which rocked, and I don't want us to lose our momentum after halftime like we have seemed to done the last two games. Hotty Toddy bitches! So happy.
Ok so at work this morning I only had three tables and basically made no money which sucks but I guess it is what it is. I totally was spaced out for the first table and basically forgot to ask them EVERYTHING that I was supposed to, like whether they wanted fries or grits, how poached the one lady wanted her eggs, if they wanted a biscuit or toast, and whatever else. I only kinda messed up on the second table and I totally kicked ass on the third...I blame it on the fact that we didn't have any customers last week and that I was still sleepy lol. Next week the Vandy game is at 11am so we are going to be closed which means I only have work Wednesday and Friday nights so hopefully I make a killing on those nights to make up for not having a Saturday shift.
So when I got off work I totally forgot to go pick up flash cards to study for my Latin class so I ended up having to go back out and pick them up. I brought George for the car ride and he was soooo happy, didn't bark at all! I was on the phone with my dad though and he gave me bad news, my cat has a tumor in his mouth and to remove it would cost a grand. The vet is apparently out of the country so it was just like a receptionist who told my dad that and he has to go back in a week and find out the full story from the vet. I'm not happy, I love my Sgt Pepper so much and I really hope that it's not something serious.
So since I have gotten home somehow the day has just slipped past me. I just spent the last so long trying to figure out my graduation application and on one hand it looks like I'll need to take 10 hours during summer school/winter intersession but on the other it could be a lot more if it has to be only English classes or only classes over the 300 level. Ugh idk but it better just be those ten credits cus that's nothing. I could be done with school by the end of July which would be perfect cus my lease ends in August. If it's more than those classes then idk what I'm going to do because I don't know how I'll get through all the credits and out of here in the next year. I really regret all the time that I have taken off of school and all the credits that I could have taken but didn't or the classes that didn't transfer or whatever. Idk it's super confusing for some reason, my brain just isn't working I don't think. I emailed my advisor so hopefully she gets back to me soon and helps me figure out what the hell is going on with my credits.
Well my Rebs play Tulane in a half hour, so I really hope we kick some ass. I'll actually edit this post after the game to give my reaction to whatever the outcome is. Can't wait for the game next week cus now that I don't have work I should be able to make it to the grove and maybe even the game if I can still buy a ticket. Dusten is coming into town and Josh is thinking about it so that's pretty exciting.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Ok so we WON! Yay! The first half was amazing, I finally see why we asked Masoli to come play with us, he made some really good moved out there on the field for sure. I was very disappointed by the like two seconds that Nathan Stanley played and just did awful in, I'm hoping that it was just cus of the shoulder injury that they kept saying he had. Then they like changed the channel the game was on and I couldn't find it and I missed a bit of it and I'm not very happy about that...once again showing I'm spacey today cus I didn't think to look up the channel online lol. The third quarter was BRUTAL, I was so scared that we were going to mess up and repeat last week's loss but we came back strong and smart in the last quarter so I was very happy about that. Overall I still want to see a little bit more from our defense, want Stanley to play more often but only if he plays like the did last week which rocked, and I don't want us to lose our momentum after halftime like we have seemed to done the last two games. Hotty Toddy bitches! So happy.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Slowly catching up
So I have decided to start making a weekly list of everything that I need to do...so much stuff that I actually didn't even finish a ton of shit this past week. The good thing is that I'm slowly catching up with it and hopefully after this weekend is over I'll be all set on things being done and I'll be ready to start a whole new list for next week, which hopefully I'll do a lot better on. One of my biggest priorities though is studying my ass off for my Latin test on Monday. We took a practice quiz today and OMG had that been the test I would have gotten a big fat F on it!
I have work at 8am tomorrow and I'm really hoping it is busy, apparently they were busy this afternoon for lunch so fingers crossed same happens tomorrow so that I can make some money. I did ok tonight but my manager left before tipping me out! I'm not happy about that but I guess it isn't too big of a deal as long as he takes care of it first thing in the morning. But yeah next week I need to register my car and pay my lawn dude so I really need to make good money.
Tonight I want to go to bed like now but instead I need to shower and then do some of my geology homework cus I just had to take one extension out on this class and I am not fixing to take out another one (on it or the bio class). Oh but guess what, I picked up my graduation application today so I have to get that filled out and then I'll officially be on tract to graduate at the end of next summer! Whoot whoot! I'm so ready to be done with school and starting a real life!
Oh I never said anything about meeting with Dr Cole again, basically he brought me around to meet some other people...like the Chancellor who now knows me by name! Hell yeah lol, he's actually not that tall, just a tad taller than I am lol. I'm going to be meeting with some committee or something in two weeks to discuss racial issues on campus...I'm kind of interested to see if I'm gunna be the only white person there, but even if I am I'm sticking to my feelings and standing up for all the white students who have been labeled "racist" in the past few years!
Well that's about it for my life. Do me a favor and keep my friend Lisa's baby Dylan in your prayers, he's in the NICU and not doing well. I'm really scared for him because he's not getting better. Lisa is a phenomenal girl and doesn't deserve this to happen to her and her husband.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
I have work at 8am tomorrow and I'm really hoping it is busy, apparently they were busy this afternoon for lunch so fingers crossed same happens tomorrow so that I can make some money. I did ok tonight but my manager left before tipping me out! I'm not happy about that but I guess it isn't too big of a deal as long as he takes care of it first thing in the morning. But yeah next week I need to register my car and pay my lawn dude so I really need to make good money.
Tonight I want to go to bed like now but instead I need to shower and then do some of my geology homework cus I just had to take one extension out on this class and I am not fixing to take out another one (on it or the bio class). Oh but guess what, I picked up my graduation application today so I have to get that filled out and then I'll officially be on tract to graduate at the end of next summer! Whoot whoot! I'm so ready to be done with school and starting a real life!
Oh I never said anything about meeting with Dr Cole again, basically he brought me around to meet some other people...like the Chancellor who now knows me by name! Hell yeah lol, he's actually not that tall, just a tad taller than I am lol. I'm going to be meeting with some committee or something in two weeks to discuss racial issues on campus...I'm kind of interested to see if I'm gunna be the only white person there, but even if I am I'm sticking to my feelings and standing up for all the white students who have been labeled "racist" in the past few years!
Well that's about it for my life. Do me a favor and keep my friend Lisa's baby Dylan in your prayers, he's in the NICU and not doing well. I'm really scared for him because he's not getting better. Lisa is a phenomenal girl and doesn't deserve this to happen to her and her husband.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Thursday, September 9, 2010
So busy!
Well I haven't been on here in a while because I have just been swamped and even now I don't have time to write much so I'll just have to be brief about my life.
School is pretty much the same. Lots of reading. Made a 104 on my first quiz of the semester. Really need to focus more on my Latin but I'm so burnt out with language classes that I don't really care. Need to pick up a graduation application or whatever it's called. So done with school and wanting to move on and with how busy I'm gunna be with reading and writing and research this semester I'm guessing it'll just fly by.
Work has been SLOW. I mean I had two tables the other night! I blame that on the rain, people in Oxford think they are going to melt or something when it rains so they don't go out. I think tomorrow we are booked so hopefully I get some really fun people who tip well. I do have to say that I love everyone I work with so far, Chef and Steve put together a good bunch of people.
About the first Ole Miss game...well I'm glad I didn't pay to go to it...what a disgrace! Though I have to save I'm basically in love with Nathan Stanley and hope he beats out Masoli in getting play time, he at least earned it last week. We'll see how the game goes this weekend, I'm hoping well.
My boys are just amazing, they like to wake me up in the mornings and they are just the sweetest things ever. I'll have to post some pictures soon.
Other than that things have been ok. Bug guy sprayed today. Have to register my car next week so hopefully I make some money to do that tomorrow. Heather said she may want to live together next year when I move out to New York which would of course be fabulous because she's my sister and she already knows her way around the city, plus then dad can hopefully spoil us with new furniture or whatever.
I promise I'll get more into details when I have time.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
School is pretty much the same. Lots of reading. Made a 104 on my first quiz of the semester. Really need to focus more on my Latin but I'm so burnt out with language classes that I don't really care. Need to pick up a graduation application or whatever it's called. So done with school and wanting to move on and with how busy I'm gunna be with reading and writing and research this semester I'm guessing it'll just fly by.
Work has been SLOW. I mean I had two tables the other night! I blame that on the rain, people in Oxford think they are going to melt or something when it rains so they don't go out. I think tomorrow we are booked so hopefully I get some really fun people who tip well. I do have to say that I love everyone I work with so far, Chef and Steve put together a good bunch of people.
About the first Ole Miss game...well I'm glad I didn't pay to go to it...what a disgrace! Though I have to save I'm basically in love with Nathan Stanley and hope he beats out Masoli in getting play time, he at least earned it last week. We'll see how the game goes this weekend, I'm hoping well.
My boys are just amazing, they like to wake me up in the mornings and they are just the sweetest things ever. I'll have to post some pictures soon.
Other than that things have been ok. Bug guy sprayed today. Have to register my car next week so hopefully I make some money to do that tomorrow. Heather said she may want to live together next year when I move out to New York which would of course be fabulous because she's my sister and she already knows her way around the city, plus then dad can hopefully spoil us with new furniture or whatever.
I promise I'll get more into details when I have time.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Thursday, September 2, 2010
What a day!
So last night my insomnia once again hit me and I couldn't sleep and it sucked! I should be ready to pass out but somehow I'm not, which isn't a bad thing cus I have a ton of homework to do still! Today has been such a crazy day though.
Classes were ok. My Etruscan art class was hilarious just because I was so tired and the people wouldn't stop analyzing this one funeral urn, saying the dumbest things because they obviously didn't do the reading! I don't know why my prof didn't shut them up! My English class was ok as well, went by pretty fast. I can't wait for next week because on Thursday we are going to do some writing exercises! Finally, my mythology class was good. Took our first quiz and of course I didn't finish reading the last like five pages of the third chapter that we had to read and guess what, there were five questions on it! Just my luck right! Well maybe I got the extra credit right and still got an A, if not she drops the lowest quiz score so I just can't mess up on anything else. All in all classes were swell today.
When I got out of class I talked to my lovely best friend on the phone for a while and she just brought so many smiles to my face. She may be over two years younger than me but she is just amazing and I love her and miss her so much!
Once home I decided that it was a lovely day to bring my puppy on a walk at the park, which we did and it was nice. We probably did about two miles or more which wore him the heck out lol. On a sad note though, we invited Evil Ashley to join us but her grandpa had like just died so she wasn't able to join us. I felt bad for her, but what's really weird is that today was the anniversary of me finding my grandpa passed away in the house before school. I can't believe so many years have gone by and I miss him so much still but at least I know he's watching over me and my mom and sisters.
Finally I got some awesome news when I got home, my amazing friend is in labor with her second child, a little boy named Dylan! He's a bit early and probably gunna be small but I'm so excited that he's coming to join us in the world! I hope everything goes well and that by the time I wake up tomorrow there are some pics of him online for me to look at!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Classes were ok. My Etruscan art class was hilarious just because I was so tired and the people wouldn't stop analyzing this one funeral urn, saying the dumbest things because they obviously didn't do the reading! I don't know why my prof didn't shut them up! My English class was ok as well, went by pretty fast. I can't wait for next week because on Thursday we are going to do some writing exercises! Finally, my mythology class was good. Took our first quiz and of course I didn't finish reading the last like five pages of the third chapter that we had to read and guess what, there were five questions on it! Just my luck right! Well maybe I got the extra credit right and still got an A, if not she drops the lowest quiz score so I just can't mess up on anything else. All in all classes were swell today.
When I got out of class I talked to my lovely best friend on the phone for a while and she just brought so many smiles to my face. She may be over two years younger than me but she is just amazing and I love her and miss her so much!
Once home I decided that it was a lovely day to bring my puppy on a walk at the park, which we did and it was nice. We probably did about two miles or more which wore him the heck out lol. On a sad note though, we invited Evil Ashley to join us but her grandpa had like just died so she wasn't able to join us. I felt bad for her, but what's really weird is that today was the anniversary of me finding my grandpa passed away in the house before school. I can't believe so many years have gone by and I miss him so much still but at least I know he's watching over me and my mom and sisters.
Finally I got some awesome news when I got home, my amazing friend is in labor with her second child, a little boy named Dylan! He's a bit early and probably gunna be small but I'm so excited that he's coming to join us in the world! I hope everything goes well and that by the time I wake up tomorrow there are some pics of him online for me to look at!
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Just smiling :)
So right now I should be stressing out because it's midnight, I have class at 9:30 am, I haven't showered, and I have a test tomorrow that I haven't done all the reading for. I'm not though, I feel really calm and I think it's because I have had a pretty good day. Part of it is that I get to come home every day to the most perfect and wonderful boys in the world! George and Rufus just make me so happy, their hugs and kisses are the best and their smiling faces warm up my heart more than I can explain.
I worked tonight and it was long but good. My boss was being a bit of a dick for a while but by the end of the night it was cool. I think he just gets like that when we get busy, his way of dealing with stress. Nobody complained about anything tonight with me so yay! I made good money and had a fun time. My co-workers are all really great, unfortunately though one girl put in her two weeks notice because she just can't handle taking like 24 hours and having two jobs, I don't blame her but I'm sad she wont be with us much longer. Oh one kind of cool thing that happened too was that at the beginning of the night a photographer came in from a local magazine and took pictures of Winter and I with Chef and Steve for a piece they are doing on the restaurant! I kind of wish I had known that was going to happen because I would have really done my hair and makeup nice instead of casual like it was but oh well lol.
Classes this afternoon were ok, nothing exciting to discuss there, can't believe it's only the second week, I don't know how I'm gunna get through it. Maybe work and my babies and mom coming to visit in a month (hopefully) will make it all fly by but whatever.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
I worked tonight and it was long but good. My boss was being a bit of a dick for a while but by the end of the night it was cool. I think he just gets like that when we get busy, his way of dealing with stress. Nobody complained about anything tonight with me so yay! I made good money and had a fun time. My co-workers are all really great, unfortunately though one girl put in her two weeks notice because she just can't handle taking like 24 hours and having two jobs, I don't blame her but I'm sad she wont be with us much longer. Oh one kind of cool thing that happened too was that at the beginning of the night a photographer came in from a local magazine and took pictures of Winter and I with Chef and Steve for a piece they are doing on the restaurant! I kind of wish I had known that was going to happen because I would have really done my hair and makeup nice instead of casual like it was but oh well lol.
Classes this afternoon were ok, nothing exciting to discuss there, can't believe it's only the second week, I don't know how I'm gunna get through it. Maybe work and my babies and mom coming to visit in a month (hopefully) will make it all fly by but whatever.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Goodbye Ole Miss football!
So Ole Miss is my team and I love them but right now as far as I can tell we are royally screwed! The NCAA has denied Masoli as our quarterback and we have our first game on Saturday! Ole Miss has of course appealed the decision but we wont hear back about it until Friday at the earliest! I am not a happy camper! Looks like all of the program that Coach Nutt built up last year is gone! I mean we lost two qbs and Dexter McCluster! I have no idea how good the team we have right now is but without a strong qb it's not going to have a chance right!?! With all of this I have to admit I'm no longer upset that I can't make it to the game because of work. I'd rather watch the tragedy unfold from the comfort of my home where nobody can see me cry.
As for my meeting today with the Chancellor's office well I don't even know what to say about it. I have another meeting next Tuesday but seriously nothing proactive happened today and we never even discussed the situation that sent me there in the first place! Maybe we will get into more next time but I'm leaning right now to my voice doesn't matter on campus, another reason I'm so ready to get out of here and graduate.
Well I have tons of homework to do because tomorrow I'll be working all night and unable to do homework till midnight which isn't a good thing when class starts on Thursdays at 930 am. Hopefully I'll make some good money because I need it to register my car next week and go grocery shopping!
Love and kisses,
KABO
As for my meeting today with the Chancellor's office well I don't even know what to say about it. I have another meeting next Tuesday but seriously nothing proactive happened today and we never even discussed the situation that sent me there in the first place! Maybe we will get into more next time but I'm leaning right now to my voice doesn't matter on campus, another reason I'm so ready to get out of here and graduate.
Well I have tons of homework to do because tomorrow I'll be working all night and unable to do homework till midnight which isn't a good thing when class starts on Thursdays at 930 am. Hopefully I'll make some good money because I need it to register my car next week and go grocery shopping!
Love and kisses,
KABO
Monday, August 30, 2010
Way too busy!
Well this has to be a short one because my life has for sure gotten busy!
Yesterday all I did was homework, some laundry, watched a little tv, and that's about it. Nothing cool to report.
Today was busy, or at least felt busy. I had class, went to the bank and deposited money, went home to transfer it into a different account so that I could by gas, went to the gas station, went to the post office to buy stamps, came home and did the dishes, did some more laundry, started doing homework, made chili, had Evil Ashley over for some chili, looked at New York City apartments with my mom online, and now need to actually complete my homework.
This will be the last time I post anything on days when I don't have anything to talk about. Why waste the time? Tomorrow though I should have some interesting things to report seeing as I have my meeting in the Chancellor's office.
Love and kisses,
KABO
Yesterday all I did was homework, some laundry, watched a little tv, and that's about it. Nothing cool to report.
Today was busy, or at least felt busy. I had class, went to the bank and deposited money, went home to transfer it into a different account so that I could by gas, went to the gas station, went to the post office to buy stamps, came home and did the dishes, did some more laundry, started doing homework, made chili, had Evil Ashley over for some chili, looked at New York City apartments with my mom online, and now need to actually complete my homework.
This will be the last time I post anything on days when I don't have anything to talk about. Why waste the time? Tomorrow though I should have some interesting things to report seeing as I have my meeting in the Chancellor's office.
Love and kisses,
KABO
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I chopped off the tip of my finger!!!!!!
So last night I was so tired but I COULD NOT SLEEP! It sucks so much to be exhausted and not able to sleep but it sucks even more when you have somewhere to be at 7am. Needless to say I was out of it this morning when I went to work. Luckily I bought a Rockstar last night so I had that on my side, only problem is that it made me feel sick. First I didn't feel it, I just felt a bit less exhausted. Then I felt it starting to make me hyper and I was super talkative and whatnot with my coworkers. Then it eventually started making me feel super shaky and my heart was beating like crazy. By the time my shift ended at 2pm I was feeling like I was going to pass out and it was bad. The worst part of all of this was that I ended up accidentally cutting a chunk of my finger almost all the way off while trying to get some fresh bread for my table. It hurt and it still hurts and it hurt a lot earlier because I accidentally slammed it in the door this evening. Hmm that all sounded really random...please just remember I've been up since 730 am on FRIDAY! I really need to go to sleep but I want to shower first so I'll be up for at least another half hour.
I got to see my bff Joshy today and his gf. He cat had kittens and they are so precious! There is one that is like in love with Josh, it was pretty cute. It really sucks that he doesn't live here anymore but thank God she does cus at least that gives him a good reason to come into town often. She's coming over on Monday for some vegetarian chili on Monday, YAY! I wasn't too fond of her when I first met her but I think my vision was somewhat clouded by people around me. These days I do see the good person that Josh sees, but I'm glad that he is at least still taking things slow with her (as in they didn't fall in love and get engaged like some people do within a few months which is kinda crazy).
So lately I have been thinking about seeing a counselor. It's just that I have gone through a lot in my life and recently I realized how much I hold onto what I lost and how my life changed when I got sick. I have been working so hard to get back to being a super happy and focused person like I was before I went blind but it's so hard to do that when I still feel sick all the time and I find myself having limitations that I never had before. I know what I want from my life and maybe going to someone will help me get to that place. Not sure that I am going to do it for sure but my mom has been bugging me for years about it and maybe it's time to listen (especially so that I can tell her she was wrong if it doesn't help lol).
Well tomorrow is going to be full of homework and totally boring but hopefully I can sleep so that at least it will be kinda bearable.
Love and kisses,
KABO
I got to see my bff Joshy today and his gf. He cat had kittens and they are so precious! There is one that is like in love with Josh, it was pretty cute. It really sucks that he doesn't live here anymore but thank God she does cus at least that gives him a good reason to come into town often. She's coming over on Monday for some vegetarian chili on Monday, YAY! I wasn't too fond of her when I first met her but I think my vision was somewhat clouded by people around me. These days I do see the good person that Josh sees, but I'm glad that he is at least still taking things slow with her (as in they didn't fall in love and get engaged like some people do within a few months which is kinda crazy).
So lately I have been thinking about seeing a counselor. It's just that I have gone through a lot in my life and recently I realized how much I hold onto what I lost and how my life changed when I got sick. I have been working so hard to get back to being a super happy and focused person like I was before I went blind but it's so hard to do that when I still feel sick all the time and I find myself having limitations that I never had before. I know what I want from my life and maybe going to someone will help me get to that place. Not sure that I am going to do it for sure but my mom has been bugging me for years about it and maybe it's time to listen (especially so that I can tell her she was wrong if it doesn't help lol).
Well tomorrow is going to be full of homework and totally boring but hopefully I can sleep so that at least it will be kinda bearable.
Love and kisses,
KABO
Friday, August 27, 2010
Dead tired!
So last night my puppy was being bad so I made him sleep in his crate instead of with me in the bed, to get back at me he started barking at 7am and didn't really stop until I finally got up a couple hours lately. With my class schedule I had barely had any sleep all week and really didn't need to deal with him waking me up early on one of my later days. So when I went into work today I was feeling a bit warn out. Man on man was I not ready for what came. My first table to arrive was a six top and as soon as they started asking me questions I knew they were going to be a little difficult. Of course, almost immediately three other tables are seated in my section and before I knew it I was overwhelmed and people were getting upset. Somehow I made it through the night without completely having a breakdown or getting fired because that six top kept complaining. I made good money and even had a repeat customer from last week who said that he is going to come in every Friday. Whether or not that happens I don't know but him and his colleagues are super nice and laid back so I really would love for them to be my regulars. By the end of the night my feet were sore but I found out that I wasn't the only one who had had a few incidents during the evening so that made me feel better.
Tomorrow is going to suck, because as of this moment I have to be back at work in six hours! Yeah, my crazy boss has me scheduled at 7am! I think he hates me lol. I bough a Rockstar Punched on the way home so at least I'll be super strung up once we open at nine. I have to admit my shower felt good just now and I'm sure when I get home from work tomorrow and take another one it'll feel even better. Oh and hopefully after work at some point I'll be able to see Joshy because he's in town for the weekend, yay!
Well I'm too tired to really write more, and nothing really exciting happened today so I guess I will just have to have a more eventful day tomorrow so I'll have something good to put up here.
Love and kisses,
KABO
Tomorrow is going to suck, because as of this moment I have to be back at work in six hours! Yeah, my crazy boss has me scheduled at 7am! I think he hates me lol. I bough a Rockstar Punched on the way home so at least I'll be super strung up once we open at nine. I have to admit my shower felt good just now and I'm sure when I get home from work tomorrow and take another one it'll feel even better. Oh and hopefully after work at some point I'll be able to see Joshy because he's in town for the weekend, yay!
Well I'm too tired to really write more, and nothing really exciting happened today so I guess I will just have to have a more eventful day tomorrow so I'll have something good to put up here.
Love and kisses,
KABO
Thursday, August 26, 2010
So part two of the whole racism thing- I got an email back from the Chancellors office and have been asked to meet on a regular basis with them and try to make Ole Miss a better place for all students. I honestly don't know how to take the response. Is it just a polite way to shut me up and not worry about the white student population? Or is it an honest request to bring a young mind with fresh ideas in to really make a difference? Once I meet with them for the first time I will make sure to post about it. Who know, maybe this blog that started out to just be a daily recap of my life for my friends and family to follow will eventually turn into a discussion on the serious topic of racism in today's colleges. Only time will tell.
To further the topic of the incident yesterday, I did some research later in the evening because I was just so flabbergasted at the idea that some company would even manufacture such a horrible and racist product! As it turns out, it's a christian company and the shirt is supposed to mean something about being saved from the slavery of sins or some weird shit like that. Looking at all the "ex" shirts they have they are all very offensive to groups of people and just fucked up in general. Like a shirt that says "ex-cutter" ummm cutting is a very serious mental thing that people struggle with, I have a friend who was a cutter and she has only told a few people about it, I can't imagine how she would feel if she saw someone walking around with a shirt that said "ex-cutter" as if it was something to be proud of once having done. There's also a shirt that says "ex-sinner" which doesn't even make sense because people sin every day on accident and to wear a shirt like that is basically being a hypocrite. After being disgusted with the "christian" shirts I decided to look and see what other people's reactions were. One that really stood out to me was a girl who identified herself as African-American and a wearer of the "ex-slave" shirt who said she gets so many bad looks when she wears the shirt, even at christian conventions she attends. She said that she is always has to explain that it doesn't me slavery in a historical sense and blah blah blah. What got me about her post was that it 1)Said that even some pastors didn't really like the shirt and 2)said that she will have random black people see her and be like "hell yeah!" I think that the second thing is all that matters, the shirt may mean something to the company that produces it but the perceived meaning is all that actually matters. The girl I saw on campus may have bought that shirt because she believes in the weird christian meaning that was associated with it, but she also may have been one of the blacks that see it and go "hell yeah!" trying to stick it to the "white man." Finding the website does not change my opinion of the matter, in fact I think it probably helps to solidify it more.
So outside of that whole issue my life has been pretty basic. I was supposed to work last night but my boss made me take the night off because they were too slow. I really hope that doesn't happen often because I'm only scheduled three days a week and I really need the money but I understand him not having everyone come in because then it would be like the last two days I worked and made no money because I only had one or two tables (in total five people both nights).
Classes have been going well, haven't really done much but I know that this semester is going to be very busy. I have so many papers to write and quizzes and midterms and agh!
Now I know a lot of people wont believe this but the most amazing thing happened. At around 1:30/2 am there was a lot of noise from my neighbors (like a loud truck or something) and possibly a plane (!?!) flying nearby but it was freaking out my puppy, then out of nowhere he starts barking like crazy at the window to my bedroom which freaked me out. I sleep with one of my Poppy's favorite shirts so when I was nervous I grabbed it and said, "Keep me safe please" and all of a sudden, so sudden I almost missed it, I could smell my Poppy there with me. It was as if he was saying that he heard me and was watching over me always. It was pretty magical and amazing.
Well I think that's all for now. Check back tomorrow for more.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
To further the topic of the incident yesterday, I did some research later in the evening because I was just so flabbergasted at the idea that some company would even manufacture such a horrible and racist product! As it turns out, it's a christian company and the shirt is supposed to mean something about being saved from the slavery of sins or some weird shit like that. Looking at all the "ex" shirts they have they are all very offensive to groups of people and just fucked up in general. Like a shirt that says "ex-cutter" ummm cutting is a very serious mental thing that people struggle with, I have a friend who was a cutter and she has only told a few people about it, I can't imagine how she would feel if she saw someone walking around with a shirt that said "ex-cutter" as if it was something to be proud of once having done. There's also a shirt that says "ex-sinner" which doesn't even make sense because people sin every day on accident and to wear a shirt like that is basically being a hypocrite. After being disgusted with the "christian" shirts I decided to look and see what other people's reactions were. One that really stood out to me was a girl who identified herself as African-American and a wearer of the "ex-slave" shirt who said she gets so many bad looks when she wears the shirt, even at christian conventions she attends. She said that she is always has to explain that it doesn't me slavery in a historical sense and blah blah blah. What got me about her post was that it 1)Said that even some pastors didn't really like the shirt and 2)said that she will have random black people see her and be like "hell yeah!" I think that the second thing is all that matters, the shirt may mean something to the company that produces it but the perceived meaning is all that actually matters. The girl I saw on campus may have bought that shirt because she believes in the weird christian meaning that was associated with it, but she also may have been one of the blacks that see it and go "hell yeah!" trying to stick it to the "white man." Finding the website does not change my opinion of the matter, in fact I think it probably helps to solidify it more.
So outside of that whole issue my life has been pretty basic. I was supposed to work last night but my boss made me take the night off because they were too slow. I really hope that doesn't happen often because I'm only scheduled three days a week and I really need the money but I understand him not having everyone come in because then it would be like the last two days I worked and made no money because I only had one or two tables (in total five people both nights).
Classes have been going well, haven't really done much but I know that this semester is going to be very busy. I have so many papers to write and quizzes and midterms and agh!
Now I know a lot of people wont believe this but the most amazing thing happened. At around 1:30/2 am there was a lot of noise from my neighbors (like a loud truck or something) and possibly a plane (!?!) flying nearby but it was freaking out my puppy, then out of nowhere he starts barking like crazy at the window to my bedroom which freaked me out. I sleep with one of my Poppy's favorite shirts so when I was nervous I grabbed it and said, "Keep me safe please" and all of a sudden, so sudden I almost missed it, I could smell my Poppy there with me. It was as if he was saying that he heard me and was watching over me always. It was pretty magical and amazing.
Well I think that's all for now. Check back tomorrow for more.
Love and Kisses,
KABO
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Racism and Ole Miss
So today started like any other day and for the most part it was like any other day, save for one tiny moment that I feel extremly passionate about. Below is a letter I have sent to the chancellor of Ole Miss, his office, and the school new paper. I hope that with so many people able to read it something will be done. Before everyone gets their panties all in a bunch let me say this- racism sucks and I wish it didn't exist but unfortunatelly it does and people have to realize it is not a one way street.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I'm in parking HELL
Two days into the semester and I already HATE the parking with a passion. It's as if every semester they admit a million more students and eliminate parking spots. I mean it's rediculous how many cars there are on campus right now. Luckily for me though I've had good luck so far in finding prime spots but I know that this wont last long. I actually was thankful for once about having a tiny car because I was able to fit into this spot between a tahoe and yukon when both were on/over the parking line. The fact that I didn't hit either car is a huge deal to me lol.
So I still have to go to my mythology class this evening but I know it'll be great because I had professor Ajootian last semester at the same time, in the same room, for another 100 level class. I'm sure that although she's a great teacher there will once again be annoying freshman to deal with so that's gunna kind of suck.
This morning I woke up about 12 minutes before I wanted to leave my house. Obviously I was running around like a crazy person trying to get everything together and get out the door, somehow doing that in only 18 minutes. I got to the museum fine but man oh man was that classroom crappy! I guess they use it for like some kind of children's art classroom. I'm not sure, but basically the desks were shoved in with these long tables that were stained with all sorts of who knows what. The ceilings are pretty short so the projector screen is partially below people's heads, making the bottom like foot impossible to see for anyone behind the front row. I honestly have no idea why we are in that room, it would seem a lot smarter to have us in a normal classroom that was actually ON campus and not at the furthest reaches of Ole Miss property!
My next class was English 418 with Dr Mac. He seems super fun and I think the class will be really great and develop me as better writer. Oh and how cool is this but there is an Olympic track and field athlete in my class! She was in the 2008 Olympics and hopes to make it to the 2012! Eventually I'll have to talk to her about all of that because seriously it's pretty awesome.
Well now I have tons of stuff to do before my class this evening. I have to go buy printer ink and printer paper for an assignment due tomorrow morning. I also have to go and pay a couple of my bills so that they wont be late and cost me extra fees. On top of that I need to run to the bookstore and grab a copy of the books that I need for tomorrow that I didn't buy online. I'm not too happy about having to spend more money but I guess it is what it is :(
Love and kisses,
KABO
So I still have to go to my mythology class this evening but I know it'll be great because I had professor Ajootian last semester at the same time, in the same room, for another 100 level class. I'm sure that although she's a great teacher there will once again be annoying freshman to deal with so that's gunna kind of suck.
This morning I woke up about 12 minutes before I wanted to leave my house. Obviously I was running around like a crazy person trying to get everything together and get out the door, somehow doing that in only 18 minutes. I got to the museum fine but man oh man was that classroom crappy! I guess they use it for like some kind of children's art classroom. I'm not sure, but basically the desks were shoved in with these long tables that were stained with all sorts of who knows what. The ceilings are pretty short so the projector screen is partially below people's heads, making the bottom like foot impossible to see for anyone behind the front row. I honestly have no idea why we are in that room, it would seem a lot smarter to have us in a normal classroom that was actually ON campus and not at the furthest reaches of Ole Miss property!
My next class was English 418 with Dr Mac. He seems super fun and I think the class will be really great and develop me as better writer. Oh and how cool is this but there is an Olympic track and field athlete in my class! She was in the 2008 Olympics and hopes to make it to the 2012! Eventually I'll have to talk to her about all of that because seriously it's pretty awesome.
Well now I have tons of stuff to do before my class this evening. I have to go buy printer ink and printer paper for an assignment due tomorrow morning. I also have to go and pay a couple of my bills so that they wont be late and cost me extra fees. On top of that I need to run to the bookstore and grab a copy of the books that I need for tomorrow that I didn't buy online. I'm not too happy about having to spend more money but I guess it is what it is :(
Love and kisses,
KABO
Monday, August 23, 2010
And the semester has finally begun
So I went to my first two classes today- English 352 and Latin 101. Luckily they start at 12pm and 1pm so even though this is the first semester in like two years that I've had a Friday class at least it's not super early. Rolling out of bed at 11 isn't too bad. Tomorrow getting up somewhere around 8/830 wont be fun at all. I swore to never again take a class before 11 but unfortunately the school scheduled the classes I need at very early hours :(
My English class is titled: Popular Literature- Ghost Stories; and my professor is Jack Pendarvis, a famous writer here at Ole Miss as a guest teacher. He only briefly discussed the class syllabus with us, making a huge point out of the idea that "I don't care if your grandmother dies, you can only miss three classes so make sure you leave one to her funeral." Technically there is a whole paragraph in the syllabus that he typed in bold, uppercase font saying not to miss class no matter who died if you are already over the limit of absences. He also spent some time telling us that he doesn't care if we use wikipedia as a source, as long as we cite it. He says he doesn't like failing people but he will if we plagerize. Honestly after four years of high school and five (going on six) years of college I think this idea has been thoroughly instilled in my brain. One day when I am a professor (hopefully) I'm going to make sure that I tell people to please plagerise because it would only make my life easier, or just not even turn the paper in. Of course if I do make it one day being a professor I want to be sort of off the wall so that my students actually get involved in whatever subject I'm teaching. I find it complete bs that last semester I watched a certain "friend" basically not do any of the homework and walk out with the same grade as me. Yes, my doing all the reading and whatnot will help me in the future, yes her grades really don't affect my life but still it's frustrating and disheartening.
So back to my English class...umm OMG is it full of nerds! Maybe they are really nice kids but when it comes down to it I don't think I've ever seen such a large group of non-southern looking people ever at Ole Miss. On one hand I guess it's a nice break from the over-sized sorority shirts and shorts on the girls and the polos and khakis on the boys but, at the same time, some of them just looked like they needed a shower and a haircut and some fashion help. Obviously I'm a nerd on the inside, going home and doing homework before the semester even starts, but when it comes to my appearance I try to spice it up a bit. The class seems like it'll be interesting because we get to read a lot of off the wall stories and the structure agrees with me perfectly. Every class meeting we have a one page paper due about the reading from the night before. I love this idea for two reasons- 1)It ensures that the entire class does the homework and 2)It is basically a great way to keep notes to look back on when it comes time to write the midterm and final papers. The second thing I love is that it is papers and not tests that we have to do for the class. I hate English teachers who make me take a test at the end of the semester because it's sooooo much to study for and by the end of the exam I always have the worst hand/arm cramp from writing so ferociously for two plus hours! One thing I am very UNHAPPY about is the final paper requires us to read one of two books and relate them to the required texts from the semester. The book I absolutely REFUSE to read is Wuthering Heights. I mean I specifically did not take a class this semester because that was on the reading list and here I find out that it is one of the choices for the final. I will have to chose the default then of Frankenstein. I've read it once or twice before and will have to have my mom find my copy (if I even still have one that is) and send it to me. All in all I think this will be a lovely class and look forward to telling you about how the books go and how this class will help develop me as a writer. Who knows, maybe when the semester is over I'll have an itching to one day write a ghost story just like how at the end of last semester I had an itching to write a Robinsonade story.
So the other class I went to today was Lat 101 with Prof Ajootian. She is just hilarious with her mannerisms and it's a good thing that I like her because I have three classes with her, meaning I will see her everyday Monday-Friday. As I expected she started teaching from the minute she finished explaining the syllabus and kept us till exactly 1:50. I really didn't want to take another language class seeing as I already have 15 hours of French but I was stuck taking this because there were no other open English or Classics classes and I needed to once again take a 15 credit hour semester. I'm going to have to study harder than I want to in order to get an A in this class but it's just something I have to deal with because I really want another 4.0 this semester. My goal is to kick ass and make the Chancellor's list once again, bringing my GPA up to a level that would impress both grad schools and potential employers. Grad school really isn't something that I'm looking at starting any time soon for multiple reasons. First of all, I am so OVER classes and ready to start a boring 9-5 working life. I'm ready to feel like an adult and going to grad school would just put off starting my real life a bit more. Another reason I want a break is that I want a way to save up money! I'm so sick of barely getting by (or as the case is right now, being supported by my parents while I wait for my job to start making me money).
So, like always, I have gotten a bit off topic, but I guess that's just how my brain works. To summarize about my first day back on campus- there was a million people but it seems like a good start to my penultimate semester here at Ole Miss. This time next year I'll hopefully be looking back and thinking "Dang, I wish I still was in school because it was so much easier" haha.
Until tomorrow- Love and kisses,
KABO
My English class is titled: Popular Literature- Ghost Stories; and my professor is Jack Pendarvis, a famous writer here at Ole Miss as a guest teacher. He only briefly discussed the class syllabus with us, making a huge point out of the idea that "I don't care if your grandmother dies, you can only miss three classes so make sure you leave one to her funeral." Technically there is a whole paragraph in the syllabus that he typed in bold, uppercase font saying not to miss class no matter who died if you are already over the limit of absences. He also spent some time telling us that he doesn't care if we use wikipedia as a source, as long as we cite it. He says he doesn't like failing people but he will if we plagerize. Honestly after four years of high school and five (going on six) years of college I think this idea has been thoroughly instilled in my brain. One day when I am a professor (hopefully) I'm going to make sure that I tell people to please plagerise because it would only make my life easier, or just not even turn the paper in. Of course if I do make it one day being a professor I want to be sort of off the wall so that my students actually get involved in whatever subject I'm teaching. I find it complete bs that last semester I watched a certain "friend" basically not do any of the homework and walk out with the same grade as me. Yes, my doing all the reading and whatnot will help me in the future, yes her grades really don't affect my life but still it's frustrating and disheartening.
So back to my English class...umm OMG is it full of nerds! Maybe they are really nice kids but when it comes down to it I don't think I've ever seen such a large group of non-southern looking people ever at Ole Miss. On one hand I guess it's a nice break from the over-sized sorority shirts and shorts on the girls and the polos and khakis on the boys but, at the same time, some of them just looked like they needed a shower and a haircut and some fashion help. Obviously I'm a nerd on the inside, going home and doing homework before the semester even starts, but when it comes to my appearance I try to spice it up a bit. The class seems like it'll be interesting because we get to read a lot of off the wall stories and the structure agrees with me perfectly. Every class meeting we have a one page paper due about the reading from the night before. I love this idea for two reasons- 1)It ensures that the entire class does the homework and 2)It is basically a great way to keep notes to look back on when it comes time to write the midterm and final papers. The second thing I love is that it is papers and not tests that we have to do for the class. I hate English teachers who make me take a test at the end of the semester because it's sooooo much to study for and by the end of the exam I always have the worst hand/arm cramp from writing so ferociously for two plus hours! One thing I am very UNHAPPY about is the final paper requires us to read one of two books and relate them to the required texts from the semester. The book I absolutely REFUSE to read is Wuthering Heights. I mean I specifically did not take a class this semester because that was on the reading list and here I find out that it is one of the choices for the final. I will have to chose the default then of Frankenstein. I've read it once or twice before and will have to have my mom find my copy (if I even still have one that is) and send it to me. All in all I think this will be a lovely class and look forward to telling you about how the books go and how this class will help develop me as a writer. Who knows, maybe when the semester is over I'll have an itching to one day write a ghost story just like how at the end of last semester I had an itching to write a Robinsonade story.
So the other class I went to today was Lat 101 with Prof Ajootian. She is just hilarious with her mannerisms and it's a good thing that I like her because I have three classes with her, meaning I will see her everyday Monday-Friday. As I expected she started teaching from the minute she finished explaining the syllabus and kept us till exactly 1:50. I really didn't want to take another language class seeing as I already have 15 hours of French but I was stuck taking this because there were no other open English or Classics classes and I needed to once again take a 15 credit hour semester. I'm going to have to study harder than I want to in order to get an A in this class but it's just something I have to deal with because I really want another 4.0 this semester. My goal is to kick ass and make the Chancellor's list once again, bringing my GPA up to a level that would impress both grad schools and potential employers. Grad school really isn't something that I'm looking at starting any time soon for multiple reasons. First of all, I am so OVER classes and ready to start a boring 9-5 working life. I'm ready to feel like an adult and going to grad school would just put off starting my real life a bit more. Another reason I want a break is that I want a way to save up money! I'm so sick of barely getting by (or as the case is right now, being supported by my parents while I wait for my job to start making me money).
So, like always, I have gotten a bit off topic, but I guess that's just how my brain works. To summarize about my first day back on campus- there was a million people but it seems like a good start to my penultimate semester here at Ole Miss. This time next year I'll hopefully be looking back and thinking "Dang, I wish I still was in school because it was so much easier" haha.
Until tomorrow- Love and kisses,
KABO
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Well I finally broke down and started a blog...
I'm sitting here at about 7pm the night before Fall classes start up.I have both so much and nothing at all to do tonight. Tomorrow begins, hopefully, the last Fall semester of undergrad that I will have to trudge through. Five classes are staring at me, less than 24 hours away. This semester I will only be taking two English classes, but my lovely professor for Engl 418 has assigned me well over two thousand pages of reading and has already emailed us an 18 page syllabus so at least I don't have to feel like I've abandoned my major. My three other classes are all in my newly chosen minor of Classics (yeah I did change minors very late in the game, fml). On top of all the work I know I will be receiving for these five classes I also have two independent study science classes that I need to get through as well as a job waitressing three days a week.
My strategy to getting through all of this without my head exploding from stress is to become a recluse. I'll go to school, go to work, do homework, and hang out with my dogs. If I want to ever graduate I am going to have to cut ties with any idea of a social life. I'm not very upset about that thought though, in fact it feels comforting. I haven't enjoyed "partying" in a long time, mostly because it makes me so sick. I also have to face the fact that the only mature people I know in Mississippi have graduated and moved on with their lives. I'm am now stuck surrounded by immature and spoiled people who I had at one point considered great friends. The truth is, at some point, you have to realize that people may be fun for a moment in your life but then they do nothing but drag you down. I have big plans for myself and a lot of people don't fit into them anymore.
I learned over this summer how much I like spending time with myself and my dogs. Quiet really is a beautiful thing. I feel so at peace in my heart and so motivated to move past this stage in my life. I don't need people around me to make me feel complete and that is something huge for me to realize. I remember when just a few years ago I couldn't go to the grocery store by myself and now I find myself locked away in my house for days with just my dogs and loving every minute of it. I feel so blessed to be able to look at my life and be happy. Things are never going to be perfect but I'm learning to accept things as they are and feel perfect about them. I try too often to control things out of my grasp and I get so overwhelmed but I'm trying to just take deep breaths now and let life happen.
Okay, well this has been somewhat too pensive and out there I think but I promise to be more exciting in the future.
Love and kisses,
KABO
My strategy to getting through all of this without my head exploding from stress is to become a recluse. I'll go to school, go to work, do homework, and hang out with my dogs. If I want to ever graduate I am going to have to cut ties with any idea of a social life. I'm not very upset about that thought though, in fact it feels comforting. I haven't enjoyed "partying" in a long time, mostly because it makes me so sick. I also have to face the fact that the only mature people I know in Mississippi have graduated and moved on with their lives. I'm am now stuck surrounded by immature and spoiled people who I had at one point considered great friends. The truth is, at some point, you have to realize that people may be fun for a moment in your life but then they do nothing but drag you down. I have big plans for myself and a lot of people don't fit into them anymore.
I learned over this summer how much I like spending time with myself and my dogs. Quiet really is a beautiful thing. I feel so at peace in my heart and so motivated to move past this stage in my life. I don't need people around me to make me feel complete and that is something huge for me to realize. I remember when just a few years ago I couldn't go to the grocery store by myself and now I find myself locked away in my house for days with just my dogs and loving every minute of it. I feel so blessed to be able to look at my life and be happy. Things are never going to be perfect but I'm learning to accept things as they are and feel perfect about them. I try too often to control things out of my grasp and I get so overwhelmed but I'm trying to just take deep breaths now and let life happen.
Okay, well this has been somewhat too pensive and out there I think but I promise to be more exciting in the future.
Love and kisses,
KABO
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)