My ex job fcks me again!

So, just went to do my taxes and realized that for some reason, there were no taxes withheld for federal or state! I was all excited to do my taxes and get some money back because I am beyond broke, then it turns out that I OWE money! Fuck, I am screwed. Now I have to figure out how to pay back the almost 200 it says I owe. Yes, I should have paid attention to my pay stubs and realized that I wasn't having taxes withheld, but seriously, wtf, why would anyone not want taxes withheld????

Okay, well I guess I have to update this because Heather just went through and fixed a mistake and now I am getting 1000 back, but that still doesn't change the fact that my stupid old job didn't charge taxes for me. Had they I prob would have been getting more back now and I really need any money I can at the moment. Why do I need this money you ask? Oh, well that's because even though I put my two weeks notice in so that I had two weeks to find a new job, I was "let go" when my manager lied about me. Didn't matter that I had witnesses, they took his word. Honestly I feel that the situation was used to get rid of me for an entirely different reason that I don't think I should get into online, but let's just say that they knew him and I could not work together and I was more expendable as they had no way to replace him because they believed in being understaffed. Everyday I thank God that I am out of that TOXIC situation, but my wallet is not fairing so well without an income.

Why don't I have an income? Well, that's simple as well. With no time to look for a job while I still had one, I was thrown into a competitive job market without a safety net. The two weeks of working would have helped to pay my bills this month, now I am going directly into my savings to afford the astronomical cost of living in NYC. The other day I finally found a bartending position, but the anxiety I had on my trial shift night was so bad that I realized I couldn't work there. I blame this anxiety, which I have never had before, on what I went through at my last job. I lost sleep freaking out about taking the job and felt sick to my stomach for days. It's funny how a situation can follow you, it's even funnier how something you tried to say wasn't really happening can scar you. I don't know if I will be able to ever work in food and beverage again without feeling vulnerable and being scared about being harassed again. So, the only job I have been able to land I had to turn down for mental health reasons. Maybe it's time to find someone to talk to about what I went through at my last job.

I do see hope in my future though. I signed up for a temp agency and did my first job this weekend. It started on Thursday and went on until yesterday. It was just manual labor of setting up the Lazy Susan convention booth. While the work wasn't hard, I worked very hard and because of it I impressed the guy I was working for. He even asked for me to work with him for breakdown and on any other projects he needs temps for. It's amazing how in three days someone can see that I am a great employee and make me feel respected, when I had a job for almost six months and never felt that way (even when I was given employee of the month). While I was working for the temp job I had two other jobs I couldn't take because I was working, but to me that means they are trying to place me and I do have potential to make money with them. Best case scenario, they find me a permanent job in an office where I will be able to shine. Worst case, I just network a ton and build up skills by working multiple temp jobs.

Hopefully things turn around for me in 2012!

XOXO
KABO

Welcome to 2012

NYC has been both amazing and cruel to me since I moved here in June. Though an entire year has not elapsed, a new year has begun, and therefore I think I need to say farewell to my NYC 2011. The memorable moments:
1)Mom living with us in our tiny ass apartment for a month. Four people and a dog in a space this tiny should be illegal.
2)Learning the truth about NYC apartments- the water temp doesn't stay the same, the floors are not even close to being level, management companies don't care if they have major gas leaks or other issues because tenants don't matter to them, supers suck ass
3)Dating Steve -aka- four months wasted dating a 37yr old math professor with commitment issues
4)Dating NYC men -aka- guys looking to get laid and pretending to be everything they are not (but I caught on to their tricks!)
5)Steve Madden Shoes- oh how I love all the pairs I have bought
6)Working at botique hotels only to learn that the smaller the hotel the less they care about their employees. How I miss the giant Las Vegas Casinos!
7)Sgt Pepper passing away. I freaking miss him so much.
8)Rescuing Burglar from the aspca. She is just perfect :)
9)Having my phone stolen and recovered at JFK
10)Going big and getting two large tattoos, both on the spur of the moment

That's so brief about my life, but I'm so happy to be done with 2011. I'm starting this new year unemployed, but looking for something fulfilling. I need to focus on my writing more (hence this blog entry) and actually start the long, arduous process of editing my novel and finishing it up. I need to actually go to the gym and get into shape. I mean, I'm happy with my body, I just want to be healthier and tone up.

I'm starting this year in NYC with a fresh outlook, a positive image of life, and I look forward to everything that will come my way in the future.