Breastfeeding has really changed my life. I couldn't imagine being a mother and not breastfeeding. It has been very difficult, but very worth it. I know a lot of women who try and have trouble and make the choice to switch to formula. I know women who need to get back on medications and can't take them while breastfeeding so they put their baby on formula. I know women whose milk didn't come in or who had babies allergic to something they ate that made them allergic to their momma's milk so they went to formula. I also know some women who just didn't want to be bothered. I commend the mothers who at least try and I do not understand the mothers who don't. I want to share my breastfeeding journey with you.
Before Kiera was born I knew I wanted to try breastfeeding. I had friends and family tell me that it would be hard and that it would hurt and that it would be an amazing experience. I didn't realize how true all of that would be.
Kiera was born via emergency C-section on December 16, 2013. When a mother gives birth naturally there are certain signals sent throughout the body that let the body know to start feeding the baby through the breasts and not through her umbilical chord. Having a C-section can somewhat throw off those signals, as it did for me. The first few days of a baby's life a mother makes a pre-milk called colostrum and it's full of all these amazing things that babies need. Mine did not come in very well at all. In the first two days of her life Kiera lost 13% of her body weight. It was devastating to me that while I was trying to feed her that I wasn't able to. I was forced by the pediatricians to do what I felt was the unthinkable- give her formula to supplement.
At first the nurse just had me give her a bottle. I didn't feed it to her though, I had her daddy do it so that she wouldn't associate me with bottles. It was crushing to see her eating a bottle because everything I had read said that babies become lazy and will not latch if you feed them bottles because bottles are so much easier for them. At the same time I was happy that she was getting food because I didn't want her to be sick. Two days later I finally got to see the lactation consultant who helped rig a system of feeding Kiera formula as she was latched on to my breast so that she practiced nursing but still got enough food.
As the days went by I got used to breastfeeding. It was hard to get no sleep while trying to recover from surgery and it was even harder because it was the holiday season and both sides of Kiera's family was in town. My three sisters (Heather, Shannon, and Paige) and my mom and a bunch of my friends ended up getting flashed by me in this time as I didn't care too much as long as my baby got to eat.
During that time, Kiera was so little that when she ate her tiny arms wrapped around my breast and gave it hugs. The bonding was incredible and while I had a hard time with my supply being low, she seemed happy to have those moments with her momma. She was still not gaining much weight though, so for a couple weeks we had to heavily supplement with the formula (or at least what felt like heavy supplementing to me). I noticed that when she had a bottle it was different than when she breastfed.
Before I knew it, it was time to go back to work and time for me to really start pumping. Let me say, I HATE pumping. It's uncomfortable and boring and I would much rather just have my daughter with me everywhere than pump because I'm missing a feeding. Pumping at work is not an easy task either. I worked it out between my coworkers and HR that I would have three short pump breaks rather than one normal break. It sucks missing out on my break nap (especially with Kiera not letting me sleep much), it sucks trying to rush my pumps all the time, and it sucks that pumping doesn't let me express as much milk as when Kiera eats directly. There are so many times that I wished I was done with it, but I want so badly to go for the first full year of her life that I kept pushing on. At this point I'm pretty sure my coworkers are tired of my breaks throwing off the schedule, but I'm trying to do what is best for my daughter's health, as most of them did for their babies.
The cool thing about breastfeeding is that babies will cry to nurse for reasons other than being hungry. A baby will want to nurse because they are thirsty, don't feel well, need attention, or just want to be close to their mommy. My little princess knows that around 10:30 in the morning I get home. It doesn't matter if she had a bottle at ten, she starts crying the minute she sees me because she wants to nurse. I have to rush through my shower so I can get out and satisfy her. She always gets the biggest smile on her face as I pick her up and she eagerly finds my nipple and starts to eat. I know that many times it is her way of telling me she missed me and being close to me as opposed to being hungry. Sometimes I am so tired and it would be so much easier if she didn't always want to eat, but I love seeing the love she has for me and having those bonding moments.
Another thing that I love about breastfeeding is how it changes as she gets older. At first it was all hugs and smiles. Next we had the terrible pinching and scratching stage. She thought it was so funny to do both things while eating. Then her bottom teeth came in. Getting bit, even when it's just two bottom teeth is no fun. It's actually really painful and I am not looking forward to more of her razor sharp teeth coming in. And now, at seven month, we are at the stage where she can't decide which boob she wants and she will go back and forth and take breaks while eating to sit up and smile and laugh.
There are definitely downsides to breastfeeding. One thing I hate is that I used to have a great rack and thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding I do not like how my breasts are shaped or how they fit (or don't fit) into my bras. Another thing that sucks is always having to be careful of what I take in. If I decide to drink I have to pump and dump and I hate dumping out that liquid gold. I also really want to try some of the supplements that I sell through It Works, but even though they are all natural, I know it is best to wait on such things as the Fat Fighter, Thermofit, and Hair Skin Nails (if you want to try them though, check out my website krissyanne.myitworks.com).
My goal, as stated earlier, is a year. Part of me would love to do it for as long as she wants me to do it, but her daddy is only letting her get away with claiming my udders for a year. He wants them back! I get sad when I hear people talk about how weird breastfeeding is. How a woman shouldn't do it for more than a few months. We drink the milk of another animal but frown on drinking the milk that was intended and specifically formulated for the development and nourishment of our own species. I'm so happy that I'm giving my daughter this experience and I hope that one day she does the same for her own children.
I'm a proud breastfeeding momma and am so happy to say that Kiera and I are almost at eight months strong! I'd love to hear from you about your thoughts on breastfeeding, your experiences, and your questions! Comment or message me!
XOXO,
KABO
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